Monday, June 21, 2010

Father's Day

We had a wonderful Father's Day at my house.

I was up early and at church by 7am to get the pipes warmed up to sing loudly (and hopefully on key since there were only two of us singing)!

Hurry back home for brunch with the In-Law's - which was very good and it was all ready when I got there so I didn't have to do anything but eat!

Right after brunch I started cooking for my family dinner at 5 that evening.

I made 3 kinds of sauces for 3 kinds of eat:
- Napa BBQ for chicken wings
- Carolina Mustard BBQ for huge beef spare ribs
- Teriyaki for skirt steak

Of course, I had to smoke the ribs and grill the chicken and steak but it's all about the sauce when you do it right!

Then I did some potato salad that my son requested and some butter beans for my beautiful wife.

And that was about it!

My beautiful wife deviled me some eggs since that's my favorite food group and it was father's day (so I get what I want - hahaha)!

It sounds simple but I seriously cooked from 11am until 5pm. And by seriously I mean that I was sweating and grunting.

Which made my wife think I was crazy, (since it was father's day she said I should rest!) but the truth is that I love doing stuff like that.

Even though I'm sweating and cussing and grunting, I find cooking complex things very relaxing and it's what I would do if I had a choice of what to do (and I did have a choice since it was father's day!)

And I must say that I pretty much hit it out of the park on everything. It was a magnificent meal (even my beautiful wife agreed!) and was enjoyed by all.

So I kept busy most of the day. Later that night, as all was quiet so I had time to think back, way back.........

I was waiting for the arrival of Wonderful Samantha and her "cute as he can be" son, Thomas to arrive (they are staying with us this week during the torturous time that they call "Vacation Bible School" but I call "Hell Week").

And in that quiet time of thinking back, I had a moment to reflect on father's day.

It always seems like a "Hallmark Holiday" to me.

That is to say that it seems to be an afterthought of mother's day. You know, we honor the mom's so we should throw something out there for the dad's as well!

But be that as it may, it certainly causes those of us who have lost our father's to death, remember those happier times.

The times when all we had to do was exist within a world that our parents made for us to live in.

The times when our biggest responsibility was to clean our rooms and take out the garbage.

And in those reflections, I find myself a bit misty at the simple pleaures that we all took for granted back then.

I miss those times. I can reach out and it seems like they are close enough that I could just touch them.

But they're not - they're actually a long damn time ago and much water has passed under the bridge since we lived them.

Now we are the ones responsible for the environment.

We have the awesome responsibility to make sure that everything goes well.

We have to be the ones that make the decisions that everyone else has to live by.

And honestly, that just simply gets old some times.

Therefore, it is with full knowledge that I realize that I hide in things like cooking.

I love it, it occupies my time,

I enjoy the smiles on people's faces when they eat it.

Quite possibly, it's the only true talent that I have left.

You see, there is no where to hide as an adult (unless you count bad things like drugs and alcohol where so many folks hide - but that's not for me).

You're stuck out there on the front lines......it's your turn have the responsibility to make the environment.

The truth is that I'm luckier than most............because I love my wife.

Oh yea.

I could literally just curl up beside her like a dog and just be. She is the place where I can go to simply "be".

But she finds that a little irritating and "clingy", so I try to give her the space she needs. But even if I'm just in another room watching TV while she is reading, I get the peace I need just from being near her in the same house.

I can't quite imagine life any other way, so I'm very thankful that I can lose myself in her.

She truly is my shelter from the storm.

But every once in a while, when it's quiet and everything is still, I miss 1975 where everything was a mystery and you were nervous about what to wear to school the first day because you knew it would set the tone for the rest of the year.

I miss deciding which girl to "hook up" with for the summer.

I miss getting excited of things that make no sense to me in my world today.

I miss being able to decide who you wanted to be without any strings being attached.

Now what I don't miss, is all the hard work that went into that.

I certainly don't miss studying and homework and all the other things that went with growing up.

But I do miss that environment that I lived in...........where I was safe and the decision that had to be made were done by someone in another room.

And I do miss my father on father's day.

Even with the joy I have received from being a father myself - I miss being the child from time to time.

Especially on father's day.

Peace

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