The Big Valley..............

Got the call at 11:30pm Thursday night.

You know, one of “those calls”.

My Uncle Frank at the big house had a heart attack and died.

I wasn’t ready for that.

I guess you never are. And I knew he hadn’t been well. He was 75 and it had been a bad year health wise.

But I wasn’t ready for him to go.

I had wanted to go Thursday at lunch and visit with him but got too busy at work and called to say I would come Friday.

Turns out I did, but he wasn’t there………………

I stayed up all night long with my Aunt Jackie. Just me and her. All the neighbors were there when I got there – country people do that. And around 2am, after everyone had done all that my Aunt Jackie had told them to do, I sent them home to sleep and we sat Shiva.

She told me that she had gone to bed early and he woke her up around 11 and told her that his chest hurt and he was going to turn the light on. He took some nitro pills and she called the ambulance. He told her that it was hurting bad and then he looked at her and said that he thought he was going – and he loved her…………then he fell over in his bed and died.

Not the worst way to go, if you have to go. But I really wasn’t ready for this. I still need him. He has always been a father to me and even though I am grown, I still needed him to say yes or no or just something.

Friday was a blur, due to lack of sleep and shock. I do know that I made it to 7pm and then I lay down and don’t remember anything until 6am when I alarm went off on Saturday morning.

Then, my excitement at my first Cowboy Shoot was gone due to the fact that I could not share that with my Uncle Frank. So I went and shot – heartless.

It was great, but it was not what I needed. What I needed was my family and they were all coming from all over the country and would be in soon.

So I went home to clean up and head back to the farm – and when I got home, I found my most beautiful and wonderful wife laying in a ball crying, crying, crying.

Pacing back and forth and crying, crying, crying.

I had no idea what was wrong but she was in pain. Bad pain. So I put her in the car and was taking her to the emergency room - but even through her pain, she looked at me and told me to go change clothes because I wasn’t going anywhere with her dressed up in those ridiculous cowboy clothes!

Even in the face of pain – my baby has her sense of style!

So I took her to the hospital and took care of getting the little girl to somewhere safer where she was not so freaked out by her momma being sick.

And the doctors, x-rayed, sonogrammed, poked, prodded and medicated – but they said everything looked fine……………..

Yea, that’s why she was hurting so bad – everything was just fine……………..

We’re a-thinin’ it was her gall bladder. The doctor gave her some stuff to make it stop hurting. Two shots full of it, so in a demerol bliss my girl sent me from the hospital to the funeral home.

Yea, I’m up for husband of the year award – because her daughter’s boyfriend came and took her home from the hospital.

At the funeral home, I faced all of my relatives and we all hugged and told stories and then went back to the big house and ate – more food than you could possibly imagine. Country folks believe in loving you with food and that is a great source of comfort in times like these.

My Uncle Frank was well thought of in many parts of the world and they came from near and far. I had every living relative, except my mother, there for the funeral. I could not figure out how to get my mother out of the convalescent home and deal with her while doing all that I had to do – so I left her there.

Yea, I’m up for son of the year as well……………..

The funeral was beautiful. Simply amazing. I got to go up and have a moment of reflection at the pulpit, which was probably the easiest and hardest thing I’ve ever done. With my lip quivering I stood tall and told everyone to remember the stories and to share them often and in that way he would always be with us.

I almost didn’t make it, but my amazingly wonderful wife was sitting there praying for me and I swear to you that I could feel that and I got through it.

Then I got the message from the convalescent home about my mother “breaking out” – twice - and trying to go to the church for the funeral. She thought it was across the street instead of 40 miles away.

So yea, I was in some trouble for that. I took her some breakfast this morning and I threw myself at the mercy of the court.

I’m still in trouble.

But we’ll see how everything goes. I have no idea what the plans are. I would imagine that my Aunt Jackie would move back to Baton Rouge to be near her kids but we’ll all cross that bridge when it comes.

In the meantime, I’m just sad deep in my heart – but also proud to have known a man so rare.

So today, I ask each of you to go find someone you love but haven’t had time to spend some time with lately – and spend time with them.

Love them and tell them so.

I think it matters.

Peace.