F*CK ME
Well, my daughter just got on a plane to go get married in Las Vegas.
My little princess is getting married and she’s having a baby - and as excited as I am about the baby (which is a boy, by the way!), my heart is broken.
If I wasn’t madly in love with the woman of my dreams I’m pretty sure that I would curl up in a ball for a year and start over later.
I feel deep down in my soul that this is just wrong.
But it’s not my life, is it? It’s hers to do as she pleases and as a parent, all I’m left with is the knowledge that I have to love her and to try to guide her on this journey.
Did I mention that my heart is broken?
I have no idea what the future holds for her, but it’s not a warm and fuzzy feeling for me.
I have never ever been concerned for me or my future. I was always uniquely qualified for life. Not sure why, but it’s been that way for longer than I can remember.
When I think back on all the uncertainties in life, it was never my uncertainty, it was my uncertainty in others that was my only cause for concern.
I lived my own life in my own way. Which sometimes got me into trouble – but at least it was my trouble and I dealt with it.
This is something different.
I really and truly don’t have to be in charge. I don’t need or want that – but as I examine this situation, it seems like because I’m not in charge, I’m worried.
Which makes me either a hypocrite or a liar. I don’t feel like that, but the evidence suggests otherwise.
So pray for Kelly and Tommy. Pray that enlightenment and reality won’t be the anvil that I anticipate it to be for them.
Or at least for her.
I'm going to cry now.
Peace
My little princess is getting married and she’s having a baby - and as excited as I am about the baby (which is a boy, by the way!), my heart is broken.
If I wasn’t madly in love with the woman of my dreams I’m pretty sure that I would curl up in a ball for a year and start over later.
I feel deep down in my soul that this is just wrong.
But it’s not my life, is it? It’s hers to do as she pleases and as a parent, all I’m left with is the knowledge that I have to love her and to try to guide her on this journey.
Did I mention that my heart is broken?
I have no idea what the future holds for her, but it’s not a warm and fuzzy feeling for me.
I have never ever been concerned for me or my future. I was always uniquely qualified for life. Not sure why, but it’s been that way for longer than I can remember.
When I think back on all the uncertainties in life, it was never my uncertainty, it was my uncertainty in others that was my only cause for concern.
I lived my own life in my own way. Which sometimes got me into trouble – but at least it was my trouble and I dealt with it.
This is something different.
I really and truly don’t have to be in charge. I don’t need or want that – but as I examine this situation, it seems like because I’m not in charge, I’m worried.
Which makes me either a hypocrite or a liar. I don’t feel like that, but the evidence suggests otherwise.
So pray for Kelly and Tommy. Pray that enlightenment and reality won’t be the anvil that I anticipate it to be for them.
Or at least for her.
I'm going to cry now.
Peace
posted by KK at 1:22 PM
3 Comments:
I can feel your pain brother!
But somehow, God is in charge of this because He has a perfect plan for her.
Come on over, we can cry together, there is no short supply of Kleenex boxes here! I've been crying alot myself......
I will pray for everyone!
I'm prayin' for them, for you!
Well, a friend of mine flew down grom Bangalore to Delhi (India) to get married/consider marriage with her guy. She earns well, he does/nt but ...its experience for them, at their plane of existence. We tag comfort as higher, more liberating than frustration/bondage of scarce resources and uncertain future. U know it is not healthy uncertainity in this context, again it is our construct of what is wholesome. To feel helpless is tough, watch it. She will realize...experience IS important, give her a hand when the time is right and she open and receptive...lv
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