Wednesday, November 11, 2009

In My Heart of Hearts



As I look back on life, there are so many things that mean so much to me.

But like most things, there are a select few occurences that actually define those parts of me that are the most important.

The milestones that we all come across as we get older always hold special appeal within each of us - but for me, there is one thing that is at the top of the list.

Her name is Paige........

We can't really count anything about our upbringing as defining the "true" nature of our souls because the truth is, all of that stuff is simply an "accident of birth".

We are who we are because of who we were born to and where they were in their lives and all of that molded us into the people we became.

But later in life, when it is our choices that lead and direct our lives, well, those are the things that count most.

And our careers are often the place where we define ourselves. But those situations are simply when we were in the right place at the right time or we got lucky and were picked at random for a job. All of us probably found ourselves luckily chosen out of a slew of people all looking for the same thing.

But relationships are different..........

While it is true that many people find themselves in relationships simply because that is the way things just worked out - some of us are there because of decisions we made. Or in my case, decisions that someone else made on my behalf!

Sometimes those decisions were difficult for us due to circumstances beyond our control.

And many times, we were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. (see many first marriages)

But sometimes, fortune smiles upon us. Lightning strikes us out of a clear blue sky. Prayers are answered and plea's are heard.

For me, the defining moment of my life was seemingly simple, yet at the same time, an extremely complex series of events that led to the truth of the post secret illustration I "borrowed" at the top of this post.

My defining moment was when my wife, the absolute love of my life, made a conscious decision to allow me to love her.

That may sound convoluted.....but it's not.

I loved my wife from the first time I met her in my Sunday School class many, many years ago. We were in very different segments of our lives at that time.

And I guess, to qualify that statement - when I said I loved her, I didn't mean that like it sounds on the surface. She was a person that immediately clicked with me. She had everything I ever wanted in a girl and the package that presented itself was one that I would never have changed one thing about. But I wasn't thinking about a relationship - I just loved her. Above all others that I knew.

And it is still like that.

I am accused of being a "hopeless romantic", and maybe I am - but that only applies with her.

And though a thousand variations on life, at some point we both found ourselves at a place where all of what we have now is possible.

But one thing had to occur in order for that to happen.

So at some point, and I'm sure that point came with me being very, VERY persistant - she made one decision that changed my life.

She decided that she would let me love her!

That was all it took. Because the depth of my love for her rewrote the entire book of my life. I'll even go as far as to say that it "rewired" my entire self.

I put away all of my "self" and reinvented myself into the man that I WANTED to be.

No longer was I a victim of my circumstances. I was free from all of the constraints that I and society placed on me and I was able to be the person that I always dreamed I could be.

Which is where I am today and will remain forever and ever.

I truly believe I am the luckiest boy in the world.........and I owe it all to her simply saying "yes".

I did not ask her then, or now, to do anything other than to be open to allowing me to love her. And wherever that took us was fine with me.

All I needed was a chance........

Because I knew in my heart of hearts that I was born to love her and if she gave me that chance I would make the most of it.

The best part is that all of this required absolutely no effort on my part.

It's simply that natural for me.

So thank you Paige. Thank you for saying "yes".

You changed my life and I will always be yours.

Thanks for wanting that!!!

Peace.

2 Comments:

Blogger KK said...

Thank you Keith for asking, for believing, for being patient, and for seeing me through those same rose tinted glasses that you see the rest of the world. I love you.

11:50 PM  
Blogger KK said...

This comment was actually left by your computer illiterate wife...who adores you...

11:51 PM  

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