I'm Not Gay
Nope, I’m not gay. Never been close to anything that resembles that.
At 6’2” and 250 lbs and an athlete, I have never been considered effeminate or remotely “girly” by any stretch of the imagination.
And yet here it is, right in front of me all the time these days.
So look, I am in an incredibly heterosexual relationship with an incredible woman.
(OMG – yea for me!)
My problems seem to be (listed in no particular order)
- I am a great cook. I cook plain food. I cook fancy food. I can bbq and smoke meat and make magic out of meat and wood. I can whip up French sauces and any kind of Oriental food (the Thai birthday dinner tomorrow will be wonderful). I have catered many functions of up to 400 people. I have done at least a dozen weddings. I’ve even done a funeral. I have fed the USM football team twice. So what’s the deal? I can cook, nothing gay about that.
- I like to go shopping. I have always loved to go buy clothes and stuff. I’m crazy for kitchen stuff, knives, chopping boards, etc. So what? I was an only child and I had to fend for myself – never had any hand-me-downs to deal with. That’s not gay.
- I like to read. I have always spent lots of time reading. I find that it expands the mind and allows me to think thoughts and investigate concepts that I would otherwise never know about.
- But here seems to be the one that is getting me seriously abused these days – Project Runway. Hard to explain since I have no fashion sense what so ever. I have never designed clothes or wanted to. I think the New York fashion industry is so far away from what I understand that it may as well be on another planet. But I love this show. There is something about the ego’s and the sexual proclivities of these people that makes for the most amazing mix to watch on television. I love this show. And I catch so much shit about it.
And the truth is that I am tired of it. I’m going to whip the next person’s ass that tries to make fun of me about it. I mean, what’s the point of being a big, strong alpha male with lots of tattoo’s and a motorcycle if you can’t act like a bad-ass and whip somebody every once in a while.
So here you go – fair warning.
p.s. I don’t hit girls, but don’t think I won’t throw you down and tickle you until you pee in your pants.
At 6’2” and 250 lbs and an athlete, I have never been considered effeminate or remotely “girly” by any stretch of the imagination.
And yet here it is, right in front of me all the time these days.
So look, I am in an incredibly heterosexual relationship with an incredible woman.
(OMG – yea for me!)
My problems seem to be (listed in no particular order)
- I am a great cook. I cook plain food. I cook fancy food. I can bbq and smoke meat and make magic out of meat and wood. I can whip up French sauces and any kind of Oriental food (the Thai birthday dinner tomorrow will be wonderful). I have catered many functions of up to 400 people. I have done at least a dozen weddings. I’ve even done a funeral. I have fed the USM football team twice. So what’s the deal? I can cook, nothing gay about that.
- I like to go shopping. I have always loved to go buy clothes and stuff. I’m crazy for kitchen stuff, knives, chopping boards, etc. So what? I was an only child and I had to fend for myself – never had any hand-me-downs to deal with. That’s not gay.
- I like to read. I have always spent lots of time reading. I find that it expands the mind and allows me to think thoughts and investigate concepts that I would otherwise never know about.
- But here seems to be the one that is getting me seriously abused these days – Project Runway. Hard to explain since I have no fashion sense what so ever. I have never designed clothes or wanted to. I think the New York fashion industry is so far away from what I understand that it may as well be on another planet. But I love this show. There is something about the ego’s and the sexual proclivities of these people that makes for the most amazing mix to watch on television. I love this show. And I catch so much shit about it.
And the truth is that I am tired of it. I’m going to whip the next person’s ass that tries to make fun of me about it. I mean, what’s the point of being a big, strong alpha male with lots of tattoo’s and a motorcycle if you can’t act like a bad-ass and whip somebody every once in a while.
So here you go – fair warning.
p.s. I don’t hit girls, but don’t think I won’t throw you down and tickle you until you pee in your pants.
posted by KK at 9:43 AM
3 Comments:
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"What else can I say?/Everyone is gay" -- Kurt Cobain
I'm not one who spends any time trying to discern who's gay and who isn't. In fact, the only person (other than me) whose sexuality even interests me is my wife. I feel I've made a certain emotional investment in her continued heterosexual status. Thankfully, all appears to be A-OK on that front.
I am limited in my cooking skills, but I do love to read. Playing and watching sports are fun activitites. But, I think those who ignore all else can be quite tedious in conversation. I'd call that "well-rounded" as opposed to automatically assuming "gay".
"Not that there's anything wrong with that." -- various characters on Seinfeld
Now, as for Project Runway, I have not seen it. So, I have no comment there. Tickling girls until they pee sounds like it would make good TV, though. Maybe we could do that as a show????
Well Eric, I catch shit from people about my ability to cook - even though they come from far and wide when we entertain. But then this Project Runway thing took it over the top. My preacher gives me shit all the time about it. And I think I had just had enough and vented a little on the old blogaspere.
My manliness is not threatened but I get tired of turning the other cheek from time to time!
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