Elmer Fudd for President

I found an incredibly cool web site that can take what you write and turn it into a dialect other than your own – kind of like all the white kids riding around with their pants down to their knees listening to rap music – but with the English Language instead!!!

So here goes.

This one is as I wrote it originally – in my own words (not necessarily the King’s English – but it’s the best I can do).

The midterm elections are rapidly approaching and I believe that we in America have a choice to make. That choice is not quite as black and white as you may think it should be. It’s not about Republican and Democratic any more. It goes much deeper than that. It is apparent that the entire system is corrupt and not getting any better. With each scandal, the offending party promises to “clean it up” and make sure that the rules are in place so that it won’t happen again.

And yet the lobbyists are still greasing the wheels of commerce and only those connected enough can get any legislation passed. It makes me sick to my stomach.

It seems that we all know what we need to fix the system. How we need to take the entire spectrum of special interests out of the equation and we need to do something about term limits that will control the career politicians.

Do you have any idea how easy things would be if we were to limit the President to one six year term? What about 1 ten year term for a Senator? What about one five year term for a Congressman? Why can’t we take away the politics of the situation by making reelection a mute point? Why can’t we prohibit any special interest groups from giving any money to anyone for anything?

But the problem is that the very people who need to do these things are the people we are talking about. They say you have to look at how things work in the “real world” and not be so idealistic about things.

Bullshit.

All we have to do is not vote for any incumbents for a few elections cycles and we can get the message across.

So who are you voting for?

This one is in Redneck

Th' midterm eleckshuns is rapidly approachin' an' ah believe thet we in Mis’sippi haf a choice t'make. Thet choice is not quite as black an' white as yo' may reckon it sh'd be. It’s not about Republican an' Democratic enny mo'e. It goes much deeper than thet. It is apparent thet th' entire system is co'rupp an' not gittin' enny better. Wif etch scan'al, th' offendin' party promises t'“clean it up” an' make sho'nuff thet th' rules is in place so thet it won’t happen agin.

An' yet th' lobbyists is still greasin' th' wheels of commerce an' only them cornnecked inough kin git enny legislashun passed, cuss it all t' tarnation. It makes me sick t'mah stomach.

It seems thet we all knows whut we need t'fix th' system, dawgone it. How we need t'take th' entire speckrum of special interests outta th' equashun an' we need t'do sumpin about term limits thet will corntrol th' career politicians.

Do yo' haf enny idea how easy thin's'd be eff'n we were t'limit th' President t'one six year term? Whut in tarnation about 1 ten year term fo' a Senato'? Whut in tarnation about one five year term fo' a Congressman? Whuffo' kin’t we take away th' politics of th' situashun by makin' reeleckshun a mute point? Whuffo' kin’t we prohibit enny special interess groups fum givin' enny money t'ennyone fo' ennythin'?

But th' problem is thet th' mighty varmints who need t'do these thin's is th' varmints we is talkin' about. They say yo' hafta look at how thin's wawk in th' “real wo'ld” an' not be so idealistic about thin's.

Bullshit.

All we hafta does is not vote fo' enny incumbents fo' a few eleckshuns cycles an' we kin git th' message acrost.

So who is yo' votin' fo'?

This one is in jive

De midterm elecshuns is rapidly approachin' and ah' recon' dat we in America gots some choice t'make. Dat choice be not quite as brother and honky as ya' may dink it should be. It’s not about Republican and Democratic any mo'e. It goes much deepuh' dan dat. Man! It be apparent dat da damn entire system be co'rupt and not digtin' any better. Ah be baaad... Wid each scandal, de offendin' party promises t'“clean it down” and make sho' man dat da damn rules is in place so's dat it won’t happen again.

'S coo', bro. And yet da damn lobbyists is still greasin' de wheels uh commerce and only dose connected enough kin dig any legislashun passed. It makes me sick t'my stomach.

Lop some boogie. It seems dat we all know whut we need t'fix de system. WORD! How we need t'snatch de entire spectrum uh special interests out uh de equashun and we need t'do sump'n about term limits dat gots'ta control de carea' politicians.

Do ya' gots any idea how easy doodads would be if we wuz t'limit da damn Super-dude t'one six year term? Whut about 1 ten year term fo' some Senato'? Whut about one five year term fo' some Congressman? Why kin’t we snatch away de politics uh de situashun by makin' reelecshun some mute point? Why kin’t we prohibit any special interest groups fum givin' any bre'd t'any sucka fo' nuthin?

But da damn problem be dat da damn very sucka's who need t'do dese doodads is de sucka's we is talkin' about. Man! Dey say ya' gots'ta look at how doodads wo'k in de “real wo'ld” and not be so's idealistic about doodads.

Bullshit.
Man! All we gots'ta do be not vote fo' any incumbents fo' some few elecshuns cycles and we kin dig de message across.

So's who is you votin' fo'?

This one is my favorite – Elmer Fuddish!

De midtewm ewections awe wapidwy appwoaching and I bewieve that we in Amewica have a choice to make. Dat choice is not qwite as bwack and white as you may think it shouwd be. It’s not about Wepubwican and Democwatic any mowe. It goes much deepew than that. It is appawent that the entiwe system is cowwupt and not getting any bettew. Wif each scandaw, the offending pawty pwomises to “cwean it up” and make suwe that the wuwes awe in pwace so that it won’t happen again, uh-hah-hah-hah.

And yet the wobbyists awe stiww gweasing the wheews of commewce and onwy those connected enough can get any wegiswation passed. It makes me sick to my stomach.
It seems that we aww know what we need to fix the system. How we need to take the entiwe spectwum of speciaw intewests out of the eqwation and we need to do something about tewm wimits that wiww contwow the caweew powiticians. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!

Do you have any idea how easy things wouwd be if we wewe to wimit the Pwesident to one six yeaw tewm? What about 1 ten yeaw tewm fow a Senatow? What about one five yeaw tewm fow a Congwessman? Why can’t we take away the powitics of the situation by making weewection a mute point? Why can’t we pwohibit any speciaw intewest gwoups fwom giving any money to anyone fow anything?

But the pwobwem is that the vewy peopwe who need to do these things awe the peopwe we awe tawking about. Dey say you have to wook at how things wowk in the “weaw wowwd” and not be so ideawistic about things. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!

Buwwshit.

Aww we have to do is not vote fow any incumbents fow a few ewections cycwes and we can get the message acwoss. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit!

So who awe you voting fow?


And there you have it. Four exact points of view presented in different ways for your reading pleasure.

Who say’s we ain’t deeeversified?