Homer Simpsonisms...........

If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.

You can have many different jobs and still be lazy.

There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten.

The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry -- I meant sticks. Pointed sticks.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "My God! He's covered in some sort of goo," I'd be a rich man.

Be generous in the bedroom -- share your sandwich.

I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself.

Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is.

Let me just say, Winnie the Pooh getting his head caught in a honey pot? It's not funny. It can really happen.

Even though it is awesome and powerful, I don't take no guff from the ocean.

I never ate an animal I didn't like.

A fool and his money are soon parted. I would pay anyone a lot of money to explain that to me.

When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness.

I may not be the richest man on earth. Or the smartest. Or the handsomest.

Never throw a butcher knife in anger.

The office is no place for off-color remarks or offensive jokes. That's why I never go there.

My favorite color is chocolate.

Always feel with your heart, although it's better with your hands.