Six Million Dollar Man
OK, I know that I said I was going to fix EVERYTHING wrong with me this year. At 45, your heart tells you that it's halftime - but your brain tells you that it's way into the third quarter because you're a boy. And there are no boys in the nursing homes. Why? Because we all just drop dead one day. We refuse to linger, you know, places to go and people to see!
So, I had the titanium rods put in on 2-15. Still hurts bad. Had Lasik surgery on my eyes on 3-28. Now on 4-12 I'm going to the dermatologist to see if I have any skin cancer thingys and then Friday 4-13, I'm going to have a vasectomy.
How's that for a full medical schedule.
I think all I have left now is a shoulder problem but I'm going to let the back heal before I saddle myself with a one-arm operation.
Interesting thing about the vasectomy is that I chose a lady urologist. A pretty one. She asked me why I chose her and I told her that I was either old-fashioned or forward thinking (not sure which one) but if I'm going to put my jewels in someone's hand, I wanted it to be a pretty girl instead of a thick fingered man.
Perfect logic in my book.
My love has promised to be there and hold my hand. I'm a little nervous and there is also the Friday the 13th thing also going on. the only thing I'm really looking forward to is producing the semen samples they will need to determine when I'm officially sterile. I've had doctors tell me to do some pretty bad stuff - but that sounds like fun!
I'm sure that I've written about the Lasik stuff - but OMG, what an amazing thing. To be able to look and see for miles. I would recomend that everyone save up and have that done.
I'll get back to you on the vasectomy.......
On another note about that - on the way out of my initial appointment the nurse pulled me aside and told me that it would be in my best interest if I shaved "down there" the night before. Then she smiled. No other explaination, just a smile.
That should be fun.
All I know for sure at this point is that I'm not putting Nair "down there" because that stuff always burned on my legs when we shaved down for swim meets. So I guess all of this will be interesting. I'm thinking electric razor and pray that it works. I hate to think about blades "down there". And waxing is out of the question. Sometimes I wish I was a girl so I would know what to do.
I went to my family doctor yesterday and was ready to take pills for my bad eating habits but somehow in the month between when I had a horrible report on my levels of EVERYTHING and the blood test from two weeks ago, everything was way below normal. He accused me of sending in someone to give blood for me. But I really have tried to change my eating habits and it bore great results. I don't have to go back for six months when he'll grease up his finger and "do me". That's always fun. I can't wait for ALL of you to turn 40. It's a blast!
I love Paige more today than I ever have and my life is wonderful - thorns and all.
I'm back on the tattoo wagon. Got two new ones on my arm that are very cool. Have an appointment on 4-20 to get one on my chest and I'm drawing a tribute tattoo for my dad that we'll do in May. That will make 21. It's so cool being an adult.
So I think that's all the news that is news. Probably more than you wanted to know, but it's my blog - so shut up!
So peace be with you and don't forget to pray. It works!
So, I had the titanium rods put in on 2-15. Still hurts bad. Had Lasik surgery on my eyes on 3-28. Now on 4-12 I'm going to the dermatologist to see if I have any skin cancer thingys and then Friday 4-13, I'm going to have a vasectomy.
How's that for a full medical schedule.
I think all I have left now is a shoulder problem but I'm going to let the back heal before I saddle myself with a one-arm operation.
Interesting thing about the vasectomy is that I chose a lady urologist. A pretty one. She asked me why I chose her and I told her that I was either old-fashioned or forward thinking (not sure which one) but if I'm going to put my jewels in someone's hand, I wanted it to be a pretty girl instead of a thick fingered man.
Perfect logic in my book.
My love has promised to be there and hold my hand. I'm a little nervous and there is also the Friday the 13th thing also going on. the only thing I'm really looking forward to is producing the semen samples they will need to determine when I'm officially sterile. I've had doctors tell me to do some pretty bad stuff - but that sounds like fun!
I'm sure that I've written about the Lasik stuff - but OMG, what an amazing thing. To be able to look and see for miles. I would recomend that everyone save up and have that done.
I'll get back to you on the vasectomy.......
On another note about that - on the way out of my initial appointment the nurse pulled me aside and told me that it would be in my best interest if I shaved "down there" the night before. Then she smiled. No other explaination, just a smile.
That should be fun.
All I know for sure at this point is that I'm not putting Nair "down there" because that stuff always burned on my legs when we shaved down for swim meets. So I guess all of this will be interesting. I'm thinking electric razor and pray that it works. I hate to think about blades "down there". And waxing is out of the question. Sometimes I wish I was a girl so I would know what to do.
I went to my family doctor yesterday and was ready to take pills for my bad eating habits but somehow in the month between when I had a horrible report on my levels of EVERYTHING and the blood test from two weeks ago, everything was way below normal. He accused me of sending in someone to give blood for me. But I really have tried to change my eating habits and it bore great results. I don't have to go back for six months when he'll grease up his finger and "do me". That's always fun. I can't wait for ALL of you to turn 40. It's a blast!
I love Paige more today than I ever have and my life is wonderful - thorns and all.
I'm back on the tattoo wagon. Got two new ones on my arm that are very cool. Have an appointment on 4-20 to get one on my chest and I'm drawing a tribute tattoo for my dad that we'll do in May. That will make 21. It's so cool being an adult.
So I think that's all the news that is news. Probably more than you wanted to know, but it's my blog - so shut up!
So peace be with you and don't forget to pray. It works!
posted by KK at 3:36 PM
2 Comments:
Why, you youngster, you're getting everything done this year, aren't you? Why don't you have the beloved lovely shave you? Good luck tomorrow! I'll keep my fingers crossed.
We need to see photos of those new tatts.
And I'm still jealous that you got Lasik and I can't ...
You just went to the lady doc because you wanted to show off!
You know it's true, Mr. Carnival Cruise Line.
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