Thursday, April 26, 2007

What, Me Worry?

Feeling a bit like Homer today. That may or may not be a strange thing. Word is that my baby is coming home tonight. And that is a VERY GOOD THING! I miss her so much.

Her daddy is sick. Real sick. And it's breaking my heart. I went through the death of my father in 1995 and there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him or think of him. There are times that I want to talk with him so badly that I just pretend he is there and do it. That's usually when I'm driving so no one thinks I'm crazier than they already think I am.

But there are times when I transfer my experience to others that I love so they can prepare for the worst - and the enevitable. Everyone dies and normally it's never when they should.

Which always makes me think about what really matters in life. I think I have a very good grasp on the order of things and my personality is one that almost forces me to share these things with people that I sense are "in need".

The first thing is that it is SO USELESS to drag old concerns into the present. Just as it is ridiculous to fear the future. The only thing that TRULY matters in life is right now. Beating ourselves up for what we have done in the past is fruitless and to worry about what MAY happen tomorrow is counterproductive.

We are called to live our love every minute of every day and in doing that, we get the most out of our lives. To worry about what MAY happen completely robs us of the joy we can get for free each day simply by loving with all our hearts.

To believe in oneself and trust in the moment is a tremendous gift that all of us can grasp and all we need to have is the proper attitude to enjoy these things.

I am asking for prayer for my love's father. This weekend will be tense in the hospital and I personally hang on to the hope that the doctors can fix his heart problem. I pray for peace of mind for all involved - no matter what the outcome.

I love my girl so much. I can't adequetly describe just how much because it is so much bigger than words. And she loves her daddy, as all little girls do. And I'm so afraid that if something bad does happen that she will be so full of regret for things in the past instead of enjoying the memories.

I truly believe that the greatest gift God gave us was memories. A way to honor and cherish and always keep at the forefront of our thoughts and actions our loved ones. One of the saddest things for me was that my father never got to meet my love. He HATED my ex-wife and thought I chose very poorly. And he was right. Not to disparage another person but she was just not the one for me and he knew that from the very beginning and still had the love in his heart to be positive and help me TRY to make it work.

But (write this down, it's VERY important) you should never ever have to TRY to make love work. Love has a life of it's own and there is no try - there is only do. Love is a verb. It's not a philosophical exercise. It's real and it deserves to be lived out each and every day and that is where happiness lives.

So again, I truly believe that those who believe in themselves and are where they are supposed to be are able to trust in the moment and they are the ones that find life the most enjoyable - no matter what the circumstances are. They believe that the past is a place to store memories, not regrets and that the future, no matter what happens, is a place that is full of promise, not apprehension.

So enjoy today. Enjoy every day. Because you truly never know when that will be taken from you.



Anonymous SW said...

How did you get to be so wise? Don't tell me age, I'm a few months older and I'm still a goober. Thank you for loving my dear friend like you do. I'm so glad you are there for her. I've had her daddy/family and Alicia in my prayers, where they will remain. You and your mom too.

11:22 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

What a lovely post. Having lost my dad in 2005 and knowing too well that gut-wrenching pain, I'm praying for your girl and her daddy.

2:37 PM  

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