Life - And How To Love It

I’ve been thinking about love. I know, that’s hard to believe for some of you. But during this time of stress with loved ones being sick and possibly on death’s door – I find myself looking at love and relationships and how very important they are in the context of our lives.

Even two people who are madly in love tend to be placated by that love and get lulled into taking things in the relationship for granted. And this is the very thing that we all have to fight on a daily basis.

I am so comfortable in my love for my girl that it completely encompasses my entire being and gives me a sense of peace that truly goes beyond understanding.

And with that said, it’s important for me to get off the couch and make sure that the love stays active and that I don’t take anything for granted.

I believe I do a pretty good job of that but I’m only human and I feel myself slipping into complacency from time to time. It’s at that point when I use my free will to get up and do something to either surprise her or to let her know that she is first in my life.

And I truly believe that it’s different for girls and boys. For girls, who are moms, there will never be anything more important to them than their children and us boys who are in relationships with them need to understand that from the start.

As for me, and most boys I know, we love our children beyond the conscious level – but as for the importance meter, well, it swings always towards the woman we love. She is the most important thing in our lives.

It’s not a competition – but it is a matter of perspective. I raised my children to be independent thinkers and doers and I let them go and do what they will. I am there for advice and support but they don’t need me meddling in their lives.

My experience with mothers is that it is different. They NEED to meddle and make sure that everything is going to their specifications.

And I have no problem with that.

I know my role in my love’s life and I’m very happy to be there. The alternative is unthinkable. We have been to that place before where I was removed from the day-to-day stuff and it almost killed me. And I will do whatever it takes in order to never have that happen again. I will always be the one that bends just so I can remain where I am because it’s the most important thing in my life. It truly is.

So I fight complacency at all times because I know that is the one thing that can kill what is truly special about the relationship. Symptoms of this complacency can include a dull acceptance of everything. The desire to remain “safe” by doing only familiar things and the undefinable feeling that something is missing.

The cure involves a willingness to step a little more boldly into paths that excite us so we can be astounded and renewed. There must always be risk in love and the ability to step outside of the normal routine.

Nothing is so fatal as predictability. And while there may be comfort in predictability, lurking beneath the surface is good old-fashioned apathy. Dull routines have a way of creeping into our lives and we are called to fight this at all times. The thread of habit is powerful and is woven into our makeup and we just have to fight it.

What we need is a serendipitous act, a surprise dinner, an unexpected gift, a little craziness in the lovemaking arena. All of these things are vitally important in making a relationship grow and flourish.

The very essence of love is surprise and amazement and to make love the prisoner of the mundane is to take away the passion that made it so wonderful to begin with.

So today, let us all vow to do something amazing for the one we love and just see how it works.

What have you got to lose?

Peace.