Thursday, January 20, 2011

Fine Predicament We Find You In......

Obviously this little fellow is just a plain ole ass in a hole!

Which, I guess dictates that this is an elephant in a hole.....?

And this fine dog is up a pole!

And this little piggie cried "weee weeee weeee".......all the way home?

What the Fuck.......the cow has a car on his head!

And this poor horse is "up a tree", so to speak.....

And finally, this fine feathered friend is so obviously sowing what he has reaped since he has been captured by the very bread he has pecked.

So the question has to be........."How is your day"!!


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Say It Ain't So.......

Roy Roger's Ain't Ridin' Tonight.......

The Roy Rogers museum in Branson, MO went out-o-bidnez and they sold EVERYTHING.

They sold freakin' Trigger for $274,000 - yea......we're talking about a STUFFED HORSE!

They sold his (stuffed again) border collie for $250,000...........WTF??

But for me, the horrible thing is that they sold his car. His unbelievable car.

I would die for this car!!

Of course, I really didn't have the $254,000 it sold for - but if I had, I'd a wanted it!!

Here is what they said in the cataloge about the car:

Nudie Cohen, the famed "Rodeo Tailor to the Stars," first gained prominence in the early 1950s as the personal tailor for Roy Rogers and Dale Evans, making national headlines with the $10,000 gold lamé suit he created for Elvis Presley in 1957. From the 1950s to the 1980s, requests for Nudie's work piled up from a multitude of top stars, ranging from Gene Autry to ZZ Top.

By the early 1960s, Nudie added his signature treatment to a number of Cadillacs and Bonnevilles -- eventually creating a total of 18 Nudiemobiles. This indescribable vehicle is one of only nine that are known to exist today, each one uniquely personalized with its own arsenal of non-functional but authentic armaments and chrome-plated embellishments.

Beginning with a stock 1964 Pontiac Bonneville Convertible, Nudie removed all traces of the original interior material and carpeting, replacing it with exquisitely hand-tooled leather. Then came the application of hundreds of genuine collectible silver dollars, along with chrome-plated pistols, horseshoes, miniature horses and rifles. Some of these items acted as functional replacements for interior and exterior door handles, switches and controls. Nudie worked out the mechanics of six-shooters to the point where the pull of a trigger on the gear shift works the gears, other pistols open the doors and two more pistols on chrome stands replace the front seat arm rest. Still another pistol sounds the horn and two more open the doors from the outside. Two derringers are also employed replacing the emergency brake release and the other works the directional lights. In all, Nudie has used 14 guns in Roy's western car. Externally, the six-foot wide Texas longhorns on the front end of the vehicle leave an imposing first impression, while the rear of the car has a full Continental trunk treatment. Natural-stocked rifles are mounted on the rear of the car, one on each fender and one mounted on the trunk lid. The six-foot wide Texas longhorns on the front end of the vehicle leave an imposing first impression, while the trunk of the car is emblazoned with the name ROY ROGERS.

For an extra front-seat rider, Nudie has placed a fabulous silver saddle between the bucket seats, decorated with rhinestones and 150 silver dollars.

Nudie gave this car to Roy in the 1960s as a token of their friendship wanting Roy to know "how much he loved and respected him." Roy and Dale rode in their Nudiemobile in several parades.

So, the moral of this story is that when I die, please sell my fantabulous pink motorcycle for as much as you can and throw a big ole party for all my rowdy friends!

Peace........oh, and "Happy Trails", y'all!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Demotivational Christianity

This letter was in the Waco, TX newspaper on November 18, 2010......

Put me in charge of food stamps. I’d get rid of Lone Star cards; no cash for
Ding Dongs or Ho Ho’s, just money for 50-pound bags of rice and beans,
Blocks of cheese, and all the powdered milk you can haul away. If you want
Steak and frozen pizza ..... Get a job.

Put me in charge of Medicaid. The first thing I’d do is to get women
Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then we’ll test
Recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and
Piercings. If you want to reproduce or use drugs, alcohol, smoke or get tats
And piercings .... Get a job.

Put me in charge of government housing. Ever live in a military barracks?
You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your
“home” will be subject to inspections anytime, and possessions will be
Inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360 ..... Get a job and your
Own place.

In addition, you will either present a check stub from a job each week or
You will report to a “government” job. It may be cleaning the roadways of
Trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. We
Will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo
And speakers and put that money toward the “common good.”

Before you write that I’ve violated someone’s rights, realize that all of
The above is voluntary. If you want our money, accept our rules.. Before you
Say this would be “demeaning” and ruin their “self esteem,” consider that it
wasn’t that long ago when taking someone else’s money for doing absolutely
Nothing was demeaning and lowered self esteem.

If we are expected to pay for other people’s mistakes we should at least
Attempt to make them learn from their bad choices. The current system
Rewards them for continuing to make bad choices.

Alfred W. Evans, Gatesville, Texas

So while I agree with the heart and soul of this letter........I'm not sure how it corresponds with my Christain beliefs.

We are called to give all we have to those who don't. It's plain and simply stated and there is no argument there from a biblical perspective.

But what are we to do with those that "milk" the system.

We all recognize the "institutional poverty" is a very real thing. It's why 14 year old girls hurry to have babies - so they can get on the "payroll".

It's the motivation to have more and more.

All the while, it continues to feed the poverty cycle.

And while it is certainly true that folks can escape that cycle, most don't.

The motivation is just not there.

So how do I feel about it........

Truthfully, it depends on what side of the bed I got up on.


Monday, January 10, 2011

Heaven Waits

Just learned of the passing of Major Richard Winters on January 2' just a few weeks shy of his 93rd birthday.

I can only imagine that he was greeted by all of his men as he entered triumphantly through the prearly gates.

The Band of Brothers finally has their commander back!

When asked if he was a hero, he would answer, "no, but I served in a company of them".......

God Speed, sir.

Here is the article from the USA Today:

PHILADELPHIA — Richard "Dick" Winters, the Easy Company commander whose World War II exploits were made famous by the book and television miniseries Band of Brothers, died last week in central Pennsylvania. He was 92.
Winters died Jan. 2 following a several-year battle with Parkinson's disease, longtime family friend William Jackson said Monday.

An intensely private and humble man, Winters had asked that news of his death be withheld until after his funeral, Jackson said. Winters lived in Hershey, Pa., but died in suburban Palmyra.

The men Winters led expressed their admiration for their company commander after learning of his death.

William Guarnere, 88, said what he remembers about Winters was "great leadership."

"When he said 'Let's go,' he was right in the front," Guarnere, who was called "Wild Bill" by his comrades, said Sunday night from his South Philadelphia home. "He was never in the back. A leader personified."

Another member of the unit living in Philadelphia, Edward Heffron, 87, said thinking about Winters brought a tear to his eye.

"He was one hell of a guy, one of the greatest soldiers I was ever under," said Heffron, who had the nickname "Babe" in the company. "He was a wonderful officer, a wonderful leader. He had what you needed, guts and brains. He took care of his men, that's very important."

Winters was born Jan. 21, 1918 and studied economics at Franklin & Marshall College before enlisting, according to a biography on the Penn State website.

Winters became the leader of Company E, 506th Regiment, 101st Airborne Division on D-Day, after the death of the company commander during the invasion of Normandy.

During that invasion, Winters led 13 of his men in destroying an enemy battery and obtained a detailed map of German defenses along Utah Beach. In September 1944, he led 20 men in a successful attack on a German force of 200 soldiers. Occupying the Bastogne area of Belgium at the time of the Battle of the Bulge, he and his men held their place until the Third Army broke through enemy lines, and Winters shortly afterward was promoted to major.

After returning home, Winters married his wife, Ethel, in May 1948, and trained infantry and Army Ranger units at Fort Dix during the Korean War. He started a company selling livestock feed to farmers, and he and his family eventually settled in a farmhouse in Hershey, Pa., where he retired.

Historian Stephen Ambrose interviewed Winters for the 1992 book Band of Brothers, upon which the HBO miniseries that started airing in September 2001 was based. Winters himself published a memoir in 2006 entitled Beyond Band of Brothers.

Two years ago, an exhibit devoted to Winters was dedicated at the Hershey-Derry Township Historical Society. Winters, in frail health in later years, has also been the subject of a campaign to raise money to erect a monument in his honor near the beaches of Normandy.

Winters talked about his view of leadership for an August 2004 article in American History Magazine:

"If you can," he wrote, "find that peace within yourself, that peace and quiet and confidence that you can pass on to others, so that they know that you are honest and you are fair and will help them, no matter what, when the chips are down."

When people asked whether he was a hero, he echoed the words of his World War II buddy, Mike Ranney: "No, but I served in a company of heroes."

"He was a good man, a very good man," Guarnere said. "I would follow him to hell and back. So would the men from E Company."

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

I Love My Wife!!

I know it comes as no shock to most of you........but I love my wife.

Here is what I sent to her today in a text message which pretty much covers most of it and something I tell her all the time (much to her dismay for some reason.....)

I love you. I desire you. I need you. I can't breathe without you. I want to worship you the rest of my life. I can't believe you're my wife. I want to show the world how amazing you are. I see you in radiant beauty even with my eyes closed......

And yes, I could go on and on!

I try, so hard, to explain to people that life is not about simply "existing" or "getting by". Life is about living........and living abundantly.

And I know how hard it is. You get into a routine and that routine seems to rule your life.

But what if you looked at it differently each day. What if you truly woke up and gave thanks for your blessings each and every day.

What if you not only recognized, but celebrated those blessings and made each moment a party instead of just life.

Wouldn't that take away the drudgery that most folks have to deal with in their day to day lives?

So I say, if you love someone - tell them!

Shout it from the roof tops.

Make love as often as you can.

Use touch instead of words to exemplify your feelings.

And if you don't have that in your life.........stop what you're doing and go FIND IT!

I love my wife. And my wish for everyone is that they could find someone to love and celebrate like I do.

If we all did that, I promise you that this world would be a much happier place!!


Monday, January 03, 2011

New Year's Resolution

I read the following today on someone's new year's resolution.......

"I spent an hour at Best Buy this morning and walked out without buying the item I came to purchase. My son needs a laptop, they had the model I wanted in stock, unfortunately they only had one sales associate for the ten people milling around the computer department. I was number two in line, but the guy in front of me had three million questions and didn’t seem to give a shit that others were patiently waiting for attention. The manager I hunted down didn’t seem to give a shit either. I bought the thing from the company direct online after I got home. Free shipping, too.

Lowes didn’t schedule anyone to staff the paint department at ten in the morning last Tuesday. After a futile, thirty minute wait for the manager to find someone to mix up a can of white, I headed over to the ceiling fan section and discovered nobody on staff there either. The small Benjamin Moore store got my paint business and a local lighting company snagged two hundred bucks in a quick exchange.

Macy’s shoe department gave me a migraine. Two harried girls trying to wait on fifty women does not make for a pleasant shopping experience. At Marni’s, a little jewel box of a local shop, the charming owner waited on me and had three less pairs of shoes in stock when I walked out the door thirty minutes later.

The checkers at Target and Walmart appear to be drugged on Thorazine, deciphering the balkanized Spanglish or Ebonics at fast food drive-thru’s is an endemic pastime and suffering the illiterate thugs working the return desk at any big box store is a brutal nightmare.

I am tired of being treated like rabble, a cockroach annoyance that must be endured by the hired help when I choose to take my time and money to shop at these anonymous places of business. Yes, I’ll spend a little more out-of-pocket going local and small, but at least I won’t feel enraged, disgusted or abused when I walk out the door. I might even feel quite satisfied after spending my money."

How's that for putting it out there?

I feel the same way......oh I do......and do a pretty darned good job of what I like to call "local shopping".

I spend the vast majority of my grocery dollars at the Corner Market owned by my friend Forest Roberts. I spend pretty much all of my fine dining money at my friend Robert St John's, Purple Parrot restaurant.

I spend 80% of my fast food dollars at Wards instead of McDonalds.

And I could go on and on - but the truth is, I could do better.

I HAVE to go to Sam's. I can't help it - they have what I want and need for my cooking mania. I slip into Wal-Mart once a month for the "essentials" for the bathroom and find myself stocking up on staple items because it's so much cheaper.

But each time I do that, I swear I find myself feeling sick about it.

I shop on the internet because I can find exactly what I want and always get it cheaper than if I got it in a store.

And truthfully, since so many home-owned businesses have been pushed out by the big boys, there are lots of things that I just can't find locally anymore.

But, with all that said, I am still going to make a push this year to work even harder at supporting my local establishments.

It's better for me, it's better for my community and it's certainly better for the economy as a whole.

How about you??


Happy 3rd Birthday Baby Boy!

Here is my sweet grandson - less than a day old being held by my amazingly wonderful wife who takes my breath away.........

Here is my sweet grandson who just turned 3 years old and his crotchety old, old Papa who likes to eat nails and scream at people........

So the moral of the story??

The moral is that "everyone" always says time flies........and I guess it does although my strickly logical brain realizes that each minute has 60 seconds, each hour has 40 minutes, each day has 24 hours, etc......

But our "perception" of the passage of time certainly changes as we age.

Used to, "in olden days", it would take YEARS to get to Christmas break when you were in elementary school.

Now it's like "wow, it's here already......seems like we just finished last year's"!

And in this corner of the "my how time flies" category is the fact that my beautiful baby boy is now 3 years old!

Seems like just yesterday he was born and now here we are having a little celebration for him last night in honor of the completion of his third year.

And OMG, he was very happy.

He got a big Tonka dump truck and 5 other pieces of "earth moving and road building" equipment. Plus a bike.

A very cool bike which he couldn't figure out for the life of him how to make it work!! I'm sure that will come in a very short amount of time.

Now I can't wait for year 4 - I'm sure that whatever it brings will be interesting as well.

Life is like that.