Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Life’s Greatest Questions

How important does someone have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just plain old murdered?

Why do you have “put your two cents in” and yet it’s only a “penny for your thoughts” - where does the other penny go?

Why do we say we “slept like a baby” when babies are awake every two hours?

If a deaf person goes to court is it still called a “hearing”?

Why are you “in” a movie but “on” television?

Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural – shouldn’t it be the other way?

Why do all toasters have a setting that will burn bread beyond what is eatable?

Why do doctors leave the room when you undress – they’re going to see you naked anyway?

If Wiley Coyote had enough money to buy all that shit from ACME, why didn’t he just buy dinner instead?

Why do the alphabet song and twinkle, twinkle little star have the same tune?

Why did you just sing them?

If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil made from vegetables – what is baby oil made from?

If the Professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, don’t you think he could fix a hole in the boat?

And my all time favorite Zen Saying:

Why does Goofy get to walk and talk while poor Pluto is on all fours – they’re both dogs!

Katrina + Three Sixty Six

Yesterday was Katrina Central on every damn television program.

I saw everything all over again. Wall to wall hurricane stuff.

Yes, it’s been a whole year. Yes, the government screwed up. Yes, it’s still a mess. But jeez, let’s give it a break.

And since I read a personal account in my friend Samantha’s blog and in order to purge this from my mind I decided that I would tell my story.

It was a dark and stormy night……..


It was a dark and stormy day...........

Having lived through the path of Camille in ’69 and Freddy in ’80 (hurricane party at the frat house complete with flying squirrels!) and at least a dozen other hurricanes, I was fairly prepared for what I thought was going to happen.

Before I get started, I need to interject a funny side note - my lady had a weeklong meeting at the Beau Rivage Resort and Casino in Biloxi that she was supposed to leave for Sunday afternoon (yes, the Sunday afternoon before the Monday the storm hit) - and she was going. It didn’t quite register in her brain that there was a big ole storm coming.

She decided to stay home after her boss reasoned with her.

And it was a good thing she did since the next day the Beau was about 2 blocks inland turned into just another pile of debris.

I had evacuated my mother and her cats from her old folks apartment complex the day before. She went up to the farm where my house it to stay with my aunt and uncle 30 miles north since it would be safe up there (yea, right).

So after that, all I had to worry about was my office and my girl’s house and my house and EVERYTHING ELSE.

When you run the transportation and logistics functions for the largest transformer manufacturer in the world, you tend to be very busy during disasters like hurricanes.

So, being the logistics professional am, I was dashing around trying to get the last of everything I thought we would need in order to be as comfortable as possible during and after the storm.

Wal-mart looked like looters had already struck and stolen everything. The aisles were full of stuff thrown down and there was nothing of value left anywhere. But I improvised and got the last of what I thought we needed and went to my girl’s house to hunker down.

Dawn broke and a very windy day presented itself almost immediately. It seems to me like most hurricanes happen at night – I know that’s probably not true but it was odd to me for this to be happening in the day. It wasn’t as scary as it can be when it’s pitch black outside.

Or so I thought.

My girl lived in a huge house on a high point in her neighborhood and there were lots of trees, but none were too big. By mid morning the trees were all bending this way and that and you could hear them snapping all over the place.

It sounded like a firefight in a war zone.

The wind was terrible but there was hardly any rain. I am told it was raining very hard but the wind was blowing so hard that you couldn’t tell because it was being blown to Tennessee.

This went on ALL DAY LONG.

The power stayed on for a lot longer than I thought. It would flicker and then go out and come back on and then go off over and over again. Finally sometime in the early afternoon it went off for good.

And I had no idea that was going to mean it would be out for so very long.

Luckily my girl had very nice gas appliances, which continued to work without the electricity thing.

But it was 100 degrees and no A/C made for some interesting days.

I waited until the evening when the storm was over and took off for my house to check on my family and my abode. Little did I know that just getting out of the neighborhood would be so hard. It took me 4 hours to go 30 miles. Lots of backtracking and all-terrain driving.

I finally made it to the highway and it was impassable due to more trees than I had ever seen in my life. The only thing to do was to grab the chainsaw and start to hack your way through it. I teamed up with some National Guardsmen and we literally cut our way up the highway. I got to the other highway that went to my house and left that convoy that we had set up and tried to get home. I tried one way, then the other. I finally just parked my car in the middle of the road and walked about a mile in the pitch dark to my house.

The huge oak tree in the front of my house was blown over and all I could see was the roots and the patch of dirt it had brought up with it was about 15 feet tall. I could only imagine that it had fallen straight through my house. But somehow, it had fallen right beside the house. The branches were all up on the house and in the windows but there was no structural damage.

I inspected my house with the flashlight as best I could and then went directly to the barn to check on my Harley. Yea, it was just fine. Then I set off across the pasture to see about where my mom was staying. My aunt and uncle have a huge, beautiful house and before I got half way across the pasture I was walking on shingles and nails – which in my Sherlock Holmes state of mind, told me that things weren’t so good up there.

Luckily, the roof was still intact – it just lacked shingles on most of it.

Nothing to do but lay down and sleep. Uncomfortably numb.

The next morning brought reality streaming in with the sunlight. As far as you could see, there was nothing but devastation. And I do mean biblical devastation.

I checked on all the old folks and then went back to look for my car. It was still sitting in the middle of the road. So I backtracked my way and tried to get to my office that is 30 miles in the other direction.

I tried to navigate yet another highway and found it impassable so I went back to my house and got my motorcycle.

That may have been stupid from a safety standpoint – but from a mobility standpoint it was the bomb! I made it just fine, I just had to go slowly.

I was very pleased when I got to work and found that we had sustained no real structural damage to our 5 million square foot building and even more amazed that our power was already back on. The power company has a vested interest in us getting our power back on. Us and the hospitals were up and going right away.

The next week was spent trying to patch together my work force and coordinate truck drivers and deliveries to areas that weren’t even really there anymore in South Mississippi and in New Orleans.

Not to mention trying to check on my girl and my family. My world exists in a nice triangle with each side of the triangle being 30 miles. Little did I know that gasoline was about to become the most precious commodity in the universe.

I ended up running chain saw gas in my motorcycle in order to get to all the places I needed to go and I won’t bore you with all the detail of the rest of it. I won’t even bore you with my wild adventure of driving 200 miles looking for gas in North Louisiana that I never found or how my employer bought out the Exxon station in order to just give our employees gas. Nor will I bore you about being without power for three weeks………Oh My God!

But I will tell you that it was the most amazing time I have ever lived through. I know that you see many stories of tragedy and how bad things were – I mean we even had a boy that shot his sister in the head for a bag of ice. Killed her dead. No shit. It happened.

But my experience was one of seeing the human race hold it’s hand out and help one another in the most amazing way. I saw so many things that made me realize that we are all wonderful people if the circumstances allow us to be. I met more people than I ever imagined who were streaming down here to help just as soon as the storm was over. I saw the government try so hard to get it right. I saw our law enforcement personnel take charge of the traffic problems and make it work better than it should have.

All in all, I don’t ever want to do that again – but I can’t say I’m sorry I didn’t get to experience something like that once.

But one in a lifetime is more than enough!

Pink Floyd and Pink Noses


Have become.......

Comfortably Numb

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


What are these things that motivate us for good or ill and how do we deal with them?

There are Seven Deadly Sins, four Cardinal Virtues and three Heavenly Graces…………….

I am challenging you, the faithful, to come up with a list of songs that best interpret these things.

The Sins are:


The Virtues are:


The Graces are:

In order to help you out – I’ll go first.

Envy – Positively 4th Street, Bob Dylan
“You’ve got a lotta nerve, to say you are my friend………”

I look forward to your thoughtful responses.


Tagged Again

Sorry, it’s been a while.

My mom has been sick and in the hospital and that takes not only physical time but lots of mental energy as well.

But I’ve got a minute and I need to catch up some.

I don’t have any thoughts of pending importance that I am aware of, but I have been tagged by the “Old Lady” in Savannah so I guess I’ll play along (although I absolutely refuse to do this to anyone else)

Here we go:

A book that changed my life.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig – amazing book that I read at age 13 that set me on my path to enlightenment which I am very happy to announce that I am still walking on.

A book that I have to read more than once.

Lord of the Rings Trilogy by JRR Tolkien – this one was easy since I have actually read this series every year since I was 12. Never ever gets old. I consider it the gold standard of fantasy writing.

A book I would want on a desert island.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare – I had to really think about this one. I would hate to turn into what happened to Tom Hanks in that stupid plane crash movie. By choosing this book I could actually spend a lifetime acting out every role in every play. That would have to occupy my time, wouldn’t it? It would at least cut down on the constant masturbation.

A book that makes me laugh.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by Hunter S. Thompson – this one was easy as well. That is the funniest book ever written and I double-dog-dare anyone to read it and not roar with laughter.

A book that made me cry.

Luckiest Man: The Life and Death of Lou Gehrig by Jonathan Eig – hey, who wouldn’t cry?

A book I wish I had written.

The Know-It-All: One Man’s Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World by A.J. Jacobs – this was a great book and reminded me of something I would do. This guy read the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica and attempted to interject what he learned into everyday life. Very great read in case you’re bored.

A book I wish had NEVER been written.

This is easy – any book in the “Left Behind” series by that idiot Tim LeHay. These apocalyptical things make my skin crawl and reek of the worst in humanity as far as I am concerned.

A book I am currently reading.

Beyond Band of Brothers – The War Memoirs of Major Dick Winters – wow what a cool book. This was written by the guy that was the star of the Band of Brothers series that Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg did. There is something very moving about true bravery in the face of incalculable odds. Highly recommend this one.

A book I’ve always meant to read.

Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger – I have no idea why I have never read this book, but I’ll get around to it sooner or later.

So that’s my list. I have fulfilled my “taghood” and am off the hook.

I hope you have a blessed day and realize that someone somewhere loves you more than they love themselves.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Who What When Where Why............

You have brains in your head
You have feet in you shoes
You can steer yourself
Any direction you choose
You’re on your own
You know what you know
And you are the one
Who’ll decide where you go!!!

How do we end up where we are? Was this the place we always wanted to be? Did we achieve any of our dreams or did we slowly slip into adulthood making sacrifices of our hearts and souls in order to get along in the world we found ourselves in?

Is it too late?

Will we limp into old age bitter and swollen?

The older I get, the more I see of the aforementioned condition. I see people who have resigned themselves to “wait to die”.

And that’s so sad for me to see because there is SO MUCH MORE.

I guess I’m just walkin’, talkin’ proof that if you keep your eye on the prize, then you can endure anything and life will be amazing.

It’s hard for me to tell you how excited I am each day.

Work is a drag but it doesn’t define me.

People bother me but I endure because other people’s problems don’t define me.

Bad drivers piss me off, but I no longer chase them because I don’t need to get that upset about anything ever again.

This list could go on and on – but the truth is that all forms of unhappiness are always rooted in something that is missing in our lives.

And I have nothing missing anymore so I find my patience is just amazing these days.

It’s all about focusing on what’s important in your life. Put your energies in the things that make you feel complete and I think you’ll find that you are truly in control of everything you need to be in control of.

None of us will ever be able to control other people or life’s circumstances – but everyone can control how they feel about things. All you need is a base to start from.

So I would like to thank my base with all my heart.

If you don’t have a base, go get one as soon as possible.


The Master Cometh

Just so you'll know - Bob Dylan will be releasing his new CD on Tuesday 8-29-06.

For those that don't care - sorry

For those like me - YES!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Ancient Chinese Secret

All things that “go without saying” or that are “understood” between two people in love can build up a mountain of miscommunication and an ocean of resentment.

Let nothing go unsaid.

When you love, tell them with all your words and actions. When they piss you off, tell them - but only with your words, never your actions.

To remain silent in the face of good or bad, nothing is ever accomplished - except for silence.

Have a nice day!!!


How Blonde Was She?

Hey, did you hear the one about………………..

....she thought a quarterback was a refund.
....she thought General Motors was in the army.
....she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. the bottom of an application, where it says “sign here”, she wrote Sagittarius.

....she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
....she sent a fax with a stamp on it.
....she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
....under “education” on a job application, she put “Hooked on Phonics.”

....she tripped over a cordless phone.
....she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice because it said “concentrate.”
....she told me to meet her at the corner of “walk” and “don’t walk.”
....she asked for a price check at the Everything For A Dollar Store.
....she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order.

....she studied for a blood test.
....she sold her car for gas money.
....when she went to the airport and saw a sign that read “Airport Left,” she turned around and went home.

....when she heard that 90% of all crimes occurred around home, she moved
....she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
....she thought if she spoke her mind, she’d be speechless.
....she thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
....and finally,

....she had a shirt that said TGIF, which she thought stood for - ‘Tits Go In Front.’

Monday, August 21, 2006


Today is the best day of my life.

I loved my yesterday and can’t wait for tomorrow – but today is the best day ever.


Because it’s the day I’m in the middle of. Nothing fancy here. No philosophical doo-doo. Simply giving thanks for the day.

So much energy is expended in worrying about what happened yesterday and what someone may have thought about it.

That’s not to mention how tied up we get while worrying about tomorrow.

So I give thanks for today, and do the best I can, all the while realizing that yesterday is over and tomorrow will be here tomorrow.

Join me, won’t you?


Friday, August 18, 2006

Your Ass is SO Beautiful..............Will You Introduce us?

I am a man that is very much in love, as I am sure that you people that read this are well aware. I have been for so long that I don’t remember ever not being in love.

But I still like to go out and watch the action.

I’ve never been one to pick up strangers in a bar. Never held any attraction for me at all. But watching people work “it” in the bar (or meat market, as I like to call it) is amazing.

Bars become nothing more than great hunting grounds on Friday night. You can see ‘em, girls and boys (and some you’re not quite sure what they are) of all shapes and sizes trying to pair up before closing time.

They are “on the prowl” and working it.

The funny thing is that most of them are successful at some point in the evening.

So for those of us that aren’t in the game, it becomes very entertaining to watch.

There are two kinds that you see all the time. One is the “I kind of know who you are” or “I know someone you know and would like to get to know you better” type - and the other one is the “cold call”.

I like to watch the cold calls best of all. It’s like a shot in the dark and everyone around gets to watch. If I’ve had enough to drink, I have been known to write scores ranging from 1 to 10 on a napkin and hold them up for all to see right after the performance.

At least being a big, athletic boy allows me the latitiude to get away with that.

But I love the clichés best of all. Nothing beats a badly played “line”.

Here’s my favorites:

1. Was your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

2. Didn't it hurt when you fell from heaven?

3. You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day.

4. Excuse me, I seem to have lost my phone number. Could I borrow yours?

5. Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk by again?

6. Excuse me, do you kiss strangers? No? Well let me introduce myself.

7. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

8. I'm new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

9. Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

10. The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

So next time you go out, watch the predators and learn how the other half lives.



What are you scared of?

Or maybe the more pertinent question is “does it have a name”?

Here are some of my favorites.

Agoraphobia Fear of the mall.
Gamophobia Fear of marriage.
Rhytiphobia Fear of getting wrinkles.
Arachibutyrophobia Fear of peanut butter's sticking to the roof of one's mouth.
Homilophobia Fear of sermons.
Onomatophobia Fear of hearing certain words.
Ephebiphobia Fear of teenagers.
Genuphobia Fear of knees.
Necrophobia Fear of death.
Scholeciphobia Fear of worms.
Anuptaphobia Fear of staying single.
Myxophobia Fear of slime.
Amychophobia Fear of being scratched.
Chionophobia Fear of snow.
Novercaphobia Fear of your stepmother.
Coulrophobia Fear of clowns.
Catagelophobia Fear of being ridiculed.
Euphobia Fear of hearing good news.
Myctophobia Fear of darkness.
Bigtittiephobia Fear of girls with giant tits

OK, so I made the last one up..........

I’m sure there are many more fears in the world – I just don’t know if there is a field of study for each of them.

Do psychiatry students have to study this stuff and memorize it like they do the muscles in the body?

Is any of this in Trivial Pursuit?

I’ll be glad when this week is over because I’m thinking of some very strange stuff.


Word Work

I was reading someone’s blog and came across the first word-puzzle thing that I could relate to. I hate riddles, crossword puzzles, find the word crap. Anything that requires me to figure something out just pisses me off.

But this one, this one I could relate to.

The instructions were simple. All you had to do was to find word that had a letter difference and tell what the difference was. Some of the responses were clever and I thought it would be a good challenge for everyone to find two words and do your own thing.

Apple and ample: These words mean the same, as in "How 'bout them amples?"

Osama and Osaka: Given five years, the CIA might find Osaka.

Whores and chores: My girlfriend has never given me a list of whores to do on my day off.Genial and genital: It's okay to greet your neighbors with a genial wave.

There's no difference between PBS and PMS. They both put me in a state of blind, irrational fury. Then again, so does pretty much everything else. -- A. Coulter

Midol relieves an annoying, recurring headache; Idol produces one.Fast supper and Last Supper: One involves a happy meal.

World Cup and World Cop: Two things the United States is really lousy at.

So what are your words?

Unique U

In all the world, there is no one quite like you.

As a matter of fact, there is not a single person that is even close to being who you are.

Everything you do and think is uniquely authentic.

And because of that, there will always be people who don’t understand you, what you mean, where you come from or have any idea why you do the things you do. They can never understand you because they aren’t you.

On the flip side of that, you will also be somewhat befuddled as to why you do the things you do. Because even though you know yourself, it would probably take a thousand lifetimes in order for you to figure yourself out – and the why of it all.

But never fear! There is strength in your uniqueness.

Your hopes, dreams, fears, fantasies, behaviors, abilities and the effort you put forth are the things that make you who you are. And they open the doors in your life that lead you to the place where you are what you want to be (when you grow up!).

And the best thing about all of that is that you have the ability to change it anytime you are not satisfied with who you are today.

I know so many people that are stuck. They’re stuck in dead-end jobs, dead-end relationships, dead-end lives. They feel as if they don’t have any hope because life has passed them by due to decisions they have already made.

But no one is ever stuck. No matter how old you are or how much life has already passed.

We may never know ourselves entirely but it is quite a gift from God that we never have to stop trying.

Our search for life and love are strengthened daily through our ability to know ourselves.

So if you feel trapped by your circumstances today, I ask you to not believe in that anymore. I ask that you believe in yourself and figure out the first step you need to take, but more than that, you need to have the courage to take that step.

I think we all wait for the perfect moment to make changes in our lives. But if you notice, those perfect moments don’t happen very often if ever.

So take the time today to realize that you are the most important person in your life and to do whatever it is you need to do in order to celebrate that.

And remember, ice cream always helps!


Thursday, August 17, 2006

Déjà Vu, All Over Again

Here’s a two-part story:

I sleep like a baby. Don’t dream too much – at least that I remember when I wake up. But I sleep like a man that is content. And I am. Which explains that, I guess!

But there are recurring dreams that I have. I have read books that talk about how most people have dreams that have common threads running through them. And there are even books that attempt to “interpret” dreams, but I don’t believe in that shit.

But of the two or three of these “common thread” dreams that I have, the one that pops up most (usually after eating a huge, rare, steak) is this:

I am in a school, a university setting but it looks like my high school. I am getting ready to graduate but I am missing an algebra class and I can’t remember where it is or if I have taken the test to pass. I spend my dream frantically looking for the class and each room I look in is the wrong one. I’m to embarrassed to ask anyone for help so I wander the halls until I wake up and have to pee.

This dream makes me sweat and toss and turn. I have no idea what it means because even thought it took lots of effort, I finally passed all my math classes in college, and did graduate in 1983 and it’s all over.

So anyway, that’s part one of my story.

Part two happened today.

My daughter started college today. She is working part time for me to make some pocket change since she’s now an “independent” woman living in an apartment and yesterday we discussed her schedule at school and when she could come to work.

You know, just detail talk to calm her down about all the changes going on in her life right now.

So this morning at 10am when she normally comes to work for me, in she walked and we had the following conversation:

Keith: “Kelly, what are you doing here”?
Kelly: “Coming to work, daddy”.
Keith: “Are your classes already over”?
Kelly: “School doesn’t start until Thursday”.
Keith: “It is Thursday”……..
Kelly: “No it’s not, it’s Wednesday”!
Keith: “No sweetie, I promise it’s Thursday”.
Kelly: “Oh shit” (starting to cry hysterically and runs out of the office)
Keith: Staring into space wondering what has just happened.
Keith: Going out and talking to his secretaries and making sure it was actually Thursday
Keith: It is confirmed that today is Thursday.
All: Hysterical laughter.
Keith Picks up the phone to call daughter to try to calm her down – still crying hysterically.

Anyway, she makes it to school. Misses her first two classes but realizes that the first day of college is all about nothing except the professors pontificating about their expectations.

I’m sure that these two things don’t have anything to do with each other – but it sure was a blast today. I’ll forever and day have something to talk about with my grandchildren every time their mom gets mad at them because this is a great story.

I think I’ll call it “The First Day of The Rest of My Life”.


Lucky Ducky

It’s a troublesome world
All the people who’re in it
Are troubled with troubles
Almost every minute

Just tell yourself, Ducky
You’re really quite lucky
Some people are much more
Oh, ever so much more
Oh, muchly much-much more
Unluckier than you

Sorry for the Dr. Seuss-ism there, but I was thinking today. Pondering you might say, just how lucky I am.

I am truly blessed. Truly, truly, truly blessed.

My life is wonderful. I have a great job. I have great children. I have a great motorcycle. I have a great car. I have a great farm. I have a great house. I have a great dog. I have a great, great, great girl.

And I know I’m not alone. I know so many happy people that share the same blessings that I just mentioned (except for the motorcycle – not enough of those in the world). But still I see so many people who aren’t happy because they always want what someone else has.

That is a problem that I’m sure goes back to the beginning of time. The bible is full of those stories of those who covet other’s stuff.

Oh, I wish I could be like him/her. If only I had what they have then I could be happy.

If, if, if………….

But you know what? Those things will never make you happy until you become happy with yourself.

There are a thousand and twelve things that I want to improve about myself – just as I am sure you have thought of for yourself by now. But we’re too lazy to get up at 5 and go to the gym, or take an hour to run around the track.

And yet those things don’t define who we are. We define who we are – not our stuff or even what we do. And it all has to do with us living up to the potential we see in ourselves.

Nothing magical here.

So if you are unhappy with yourself, all you need to do is to improve what it is you don’t like and realize that all change takes time and EFFORT. Nothing is free. The best things in life take so much patience.

My favorite analogy in this area is dieting. We’re all familiar with dieting, aren’t we? How many times have we started a diet, gone 10 days and then fell off the wagon with a mad night of beer and bbq ribs? And then what happens? We tell ourselves that we “blew it” and just stop.

When in reality, all we needed to do was to start again.

It’s that shred of doubt that eats at us and tells us that we can’t do something. I don’t know if that is born inside of us or if life just beats us until we think we can’t be successful at something.

But whatever it is – just say NO to doubt and YES to yourself.

You are truly your own master and even though life may throw you all kinds of curves, you are more than equipped to deal with them.

So today, I beg you to love yourself. Look at your blessings and expound upon them. Pick up the phone and call your mother. Do that one thing that you have wanted to do for years and just see how it feels.

There are lots of unlucky people in the world. You just don’t have to get in line with them!


Wednesday, August 16, 2006

There Is No "Us" without "Me"

I was thinking about how people mesh. It’s quite a thing to witness. When it’s right, the pieces of the puzzle seems to slip right into place and everything just fits.

But when it’s wrong, then it’s forced and then you’ve got a mess.

Most of us that have been alive long enough know that because we’ve experienced it.

Some people have to maintain control in a relationship in order to feel important and they search out someone that wants to be controlled. And that never ever works. It just can’t.

Some relationships get to the phase where all they are interested in is getting along and therefore everything that is important (such as hopes and dreams) gets thrown to the side in the name of peace and tranquility.

But isn’t it funny how that peace and tranquility can leave a knot in your stomach?

I think we all need to have our autonomy and be ourselves in a relationship. We deserve to have the freedom to be what we are and to be accepted for that.

I think of these things all the time because I went from a bad thing to a very good thing and this time, I won’t allow it to get screwed up. I just won’t.

And the amazing thing is that it requires no effort on my part. It’s just as natural as it can be. Kind of like breathing.

I have experienced absolutely no giving up of anything such as individuality or nothing even related to that.

So if there is someone that exercised power or control over you, you had better think hard about it and do something about it before life slips away.

Because the more we allow others to exercise that control over us, the more we lose touch with who we are and what we expect of ourselves. And once you lose that, it’s very hard to get it back. It’s the worst uphill battle you will ever face.

I have known people that blame themselves for these things and that just makes it even worse. “Oh, woe is me, I have become submissive and there is nothing I can do about it because it is my lot in life to be that way”.


Love always brings two distinct people together to make something new – and without sacrificing anything in the process. As a matter of fact, I believe that the new creation does nothing but enhance the presence of self because I understand that we are born to love and when we can find the relationship that allows us to feel that, then we are truly released for the first time in our lives and we can start to be the person we were meant to be.


Life is really amazing.

And I pray that you find that soon if you don’t have it – and if you do have it, please hang on with both hands.


Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Sunday Mornin' Comin' Down

So what do you listen to on Sunday mornings?

That’s the question I usually ask people as I try to figure out their musical tastes. I have found that the early Sunday morning is a time for different music. Time for putting on something you don’t normally listen to that is more mellow than usual.

These days, Sunday mornings are more hectic for me than they used to be – but I still hum those tunes to myself as I am hurrying about for my early morning church routine.

Is there anything more wonderfully mellow than Steely Dan? Take your pick and play it loud enough to drown out any other noise as you peruse the newspaper.

What about Traffic? Stevie Winwood’s voice is amazingly smooth and the cool jazz they put out in the form of “artsy” rock music was amazing.

How about different genres? I love to put on some of my Frank Sinatra Duet CD’s and listen to those interpretations.

James Taylor’s greatest hits is another calming influence.

I could just go on and on – but I want to know about you and yours.

Sunday morning is wonderful for reflection and quiet time with you and your soul. And biscuits and tomato gravy don’t hurt either!

So let me know what you like on Sunday mornings before you start your day and get back into the same ole same ole that seems to propel us through our lives.


Monday, August 14, 2006

Field Of Dreams

I was reading a story in the news about how Kevin Costner returned to the “Field of Dreams” recently to play a concert with his “band” (which is the most indulgent actor-behavior going on these days) and to screen the movie at the place where they filmed it.

Well that was a place I made a pilgrimage to in 2003 for some Karma. The picture is of me actually in the corn in the outfield.

My very own “melting” trick.

I love getting on my motorcycle and going places that I consider to be cool - and this place, way in the middle of Nowhere Iowa, was very cool for me.

Field of Dreams is my all time favorite movie. A movie that never fails to make me turn into a puddle of tears by the end.

If you haven’t seen it, then you must be dead. If you haven’t seen it in a while, rent it.

There has never been a better movie about fathers and sons. There has never been a better movie about following your dreams. There has never been a better movie about karma.

It was just an amazing thing and all these years later – 19, I think – I can still remember the first time I saw that movie.

Can’t really explain it even though I have led discussions and taught some sessions about it to the youth at church.

But to watch it, is to bath myself in something magical.

So since I was in a reflective mood, I just thought I would share that with you.

And yes, I did sit in the bleachers on a sunny day and think important thoughts.

Then I went and climbed a fire tower and just about passed out.

Then I drove to Green Bay and got really drunk at Brett Favre’s place. But that’s another story.
Long Live Road Trips!


Here's Your Sign

Have you ever had one of those days where you just wanted to tell everyone around you to leave you alone? That you have had just about enough of what they have to say?

Well I haven't had one of those in a while, but the next time I do - I'll remember what Johnny said.

Happiness Is A Warm Girl

Who Is It?

What Do I Want To Be When I Grow Up?

I want to be a man that loves with all my heart.

I want to be a man that people can count on.

I want to be a man that laughs at himself.

I want to be a man that has no pride in himself and yet had pride in what he does.

I want to be a man that gives because that is his nature.

I want to be a man that others turn to when they need something.

I want to be a man that cares about everyone no matter what others may think.

I want to be a man that cries in the wilderness when something is wrong.

I want to be a man that is responsible for himself and allows others to be who they are.

I want to be a man that can cry.

I want to be a man that makes someone else feel like they are special.

I want to be a man that wins the lottery.

I want to be a man that can retire.

I want to be a man that is above the things that bother me today.

I want to be a man that realizes that his “wants” should never outrun his “needs”.

So much for my “wants” – have you thought of what you want to be when you grow up?

Interesting question.

Ponder that and get back to me.


Friday, August 11, 2006


It seems that I am posting in spurts. But then again, I've noticed that the best things in life come in spurts..............


Together Forever (or "How mini-me Saved My Life", by Dr. Evil)

The psychologists will tell you that only you can make you happy. They say that you can’t ever depend on someone else to make you happy because you will always be disappointed. No one will ever take care of you like you can take care of yourself.


Life is set up in a way that makes us have a place inside of us that can only be filled by something wonderful and the search for that something wonderful becomes our life’s objective.

How many of our problems are due to the fact that we have filled those empty places with things that aren’t good for us?

How many drugs have been ingested to fill that place? How much booze has been swilled? How many mindless activities have we participated in to fill that time?

And seriously, what is better than sitting quietly with the one you love and speaking softly where no one else can hear you?

Oh yea, it's important to find that person that completes you (just like mini-me did for Dr. Evil).

And when you do, it is important to hang on to that and nourish it every minute of every day.

There is never a time or a place where we arrive at a place where there is a finish line. Life is truly a journey. All the time we’re moving forward – even if it feels like we’re just sitting still.

I know some great people that have never found someone that make them the complete person they always deserved to be. And that makes me sad. So many tried and so many failed.

Therefore I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones.

For so long, I was not. I was one that “endured” reality and did the best I could – all the while filling my life with “stuff” that occupied my time. It was fun. But deep down inside, when I lay down at night, I was fully aware that I was missing the best part of life.

So today, take stock of yourself. Work harder on those things that matter to you and reach out to someone you care about. It may be just the thing you need.

I hope so.

I really do.

And all I really want to tell you is this: You never have to “settle” for what you have, you can have more than you ever imagined – but you have to take a chance.

Maybe tonight?

Don’t wait too long, because while you’re waiting, life is happening all around you.

It's Life and Life Only

Life is temporary? Death is just the beginning? The great beyond beckons for all of us???

Life, Death, Resurrection, Reincarnation…………

How much of human history has been spent pondering all of these great thoughts?

And luckily for you, I’m not going to expound on this today…….

But I did scare ya, didn’t I?

Nope, I was thinking about life and how it hits you so hard at times. My girl’s father is still in the hospital with the west nile virus thing. He is out of ICU and back in a room where he has moment of lucidity, which is wonderful.

But this entire episode has brought me back to 1995 when my own father died. And how sad that was. He was not ready to go. His life had been very unfulfilled and he desperately wanted more of it so he could make it right.

He had so much pride and dignity and at the end he was reduced to wishing things had been differently. So much for the value of pride and dignity………..

And I guess that is the lesson that has stuck with me for the last 10 years and the motivating factor for who I am and how I have chosen to live my life.

I made my peace with my father before he left. I said all I needed to say and lived my life in a manner that did not make me have any regrets. Now don’t get me wrong, I wish he were still here. I miss so much our talks about “stuff” and I miss his presence in my life.
But he truly died miserable because he had not fulfilled his own expectations of himself.

So as I root around in this world I truly try to live as if today is the last day I have. I try to always say what I mean, and when I love someone, I will take all the time I need in order to do the things that make them and me happy. I no longer take the selfish attitude that used to be so prevalent in my life. I give. And I find in the giving that I am rewarded beyond my wildest expectations.

I have faced the possibility in the last week of what would happen if my girl’s father died. How would she feel? How could I help her through that?

Thankfully, I don’t think that will happen now – but it will happen one day. And because of my experiences in that area, and because I love her, I want to help her. I want to take her hand and remind her that once someone is gone, all you have is memories of them and if you need to say something, there is never a better time than right now.

Just don’t wait another day.

We hold things back. We always do. We love people but have a very hard time telling them. There is so much life that just slips by because we don’t want to be inconvenienced or we’re tired or we have other things to do.

Yes, life is full. But for my money, I am going to take the time to tell the people most important to me that I love them. But more than that, I am going to show them. Every day if I can.

Which reminds me that my father’s two brothers that live 50 miles from me don’t get to see nearly enough of me and I am depriving myself of something precious by not taking the time to go see them more often.

Maybe I’ll do that soon.

But either way, life is about relationships and there are none more precious than those with the people we love.

I’m reflective today. I am alive. I am in love. I am happy. I am mindful. I am,

Eternally yours………………….

Feel My Love

I know lots of things. I have lived life and experienced the joy of so many things - and on the flip side, I have had the burning disappointment of all the things that didn’t go my way.

I could say that I have learned more from the disappointments than I have from the joys - but I’m not sure that’s true. I think it’s just the disappointments that always stand out.

I still feel the pain from high school mistakes. From loving girls that loved you back and then changed their mind. Of being accepted and then rejected from this or that. And I don’t count any of those things as necessarily bad because I became so much more than I was because of them.

I came to understand that it was simply my dreams of the way things SHOULD be that drove my disappointments and therefore if I could just let go of that and take life as it comes then I would be so much happier.

And that turned out to be my little “secret of life” moment. Easier to say than to live, though.

I know I always talk about being happy – but damn it, I’m really happy. Half a lifetime ago, at age 22, I had no idea that this was even possible because it just seemed so hard back then. Sure I had fun (lot’s of fun), but everything was so hard.

It was hard being a grown up with all those responsibilities and stuff. But after a while it got easier and easier and finally I was able to laugh about lots of stuff that I used to not be able to laugh at – like myself…………

I still feel longing in life, but mostly now it’s simply something I observe in others rather than something that drives me to distraction. I am very content. I am very much in love. I am very happy with how things are inside of me. The outside needs work right now, but that’s another story.

I was listening to Bob Dylan’s Time Out Of Mind release in 1997 today at lunch and found a song I remember with such emotion. It’s called “Make You Feel My Love” and it was recorded by many people other than Dylan such as Garth “overproduced” Brooks and was the main song on the movie “Hope Floats”.

Great song. Spoke to me in 1997 about hope – which is the main theme of my life.

Back then I wondered how do you communicate with a girl and tell her that if she would just give me a chance that I promise her that I’ll make her so happy she will wonder why you ever doubted it? How do you let her know that if she just says YES, then you will take care of the rest of it?

Well, those questions have all been asked and answered………….

It’s hard to put these “deep thoughts” into words but I thought this song did a real good job.

Here’s the lyrics:

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rollin' sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love

I have the most remarkable girl. She is truly the Girl Of My Dreams and it took me a long while and a bucket of patience to convince her that I was born to love her.

And I am eternally thankful to her for saying “maybe” and then saying “yes”.

Because of that, I wake up each morning and look forward to what the day will bring.

And I thank Bob Dylan and so many others who are able to articulate the feelings most of us have and put it in a package that we can experience over and over.

How cool is that?


Monday, August 07, 2006


Another week gone – a new one full of promise and bullshit.

That’s what I love about life, you really get it all. And that’s why it is imperative to hang on to the good things.

It was a rough last week. In the most bizarre sequence of events, I have two people close to me that have West Nile. Bad sickness. Bad, bad, bad.

My friend that I went to high school with and hang with late evenings on her patio – at least USED to – got out of the hospital this weekend after over three weeks of hospitalization for this stuff. She still can’t function. She shakes all the time and says it feels like the flu on steriods. But she’s a young woman – well, at least my age (which will be defined as “young” as long as I am writing this).

The other one is my girl’s father. GOMD’s dad is very sick. He’s been in intensive care for a week now and gets better and then worse each day.

The feelings of helplessness are huge. To stand by and watch someone you love going through something like this is very heart-wrenching. I realize, on so many levels, that all we can do is to love someone and be there for them.

But that just isn’t enough sometimes.

And I hate that.

Hate it.

There has been a huge outpouring of love for her from so many people – but as comforting as that is, it does not compare to hoping that he will open his eyes and recognize someone.

So I pray. Pray, pray, pray.

Which is all we have at this moment.

So I wish you peace and hope that each of you will include some prayers for healing for my friends.