Friday, August 29, 2008


And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.

He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the
Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.

And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.

From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.

And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.

And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.

From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.

In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.

As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.

And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.

The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.

And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.

Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.

And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.

Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.

But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.

And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.

Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.

On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”

I got this from a writer named Gerard Baker for The London Times. Maybe the best bit of satire I have ever read. I would assume it would be difficult to write in King-James-ese but then again, I've never tried it.


I watched the speech last night at the Democratic Convention and I can say honestly that it's been years since I heard a speech that gave me shivers and made me believe in something bigger than myself. Something better than myself. It was wonderful.

The last time I heard anything like that was Little Billy Clinton - and he was/is a damned good speaker. But this was better.

And people will say "it's just words and he's good at saying them". And yes, that is true. But there is force in words.

Words are more than window dressing, they set the tone for the action that follows.

A presidents job is to lead, not necessarily to do. He should set the goals that inspire the rest of us to reach for the stars.

Let us never forget that JFK set a goal to land a man on the moon AND BRING HIM BACK SAFELY TO EARTH by the end of the decade of the sixties. And this was at the time when we could not even get a rocket to take off without blowing up. Immediately after that speech, engineering programs were redone with the expressed purpose of getting people trained to meet that goal. Public Education changed in an instant to bring math and physics into the curriculum at a much faster pace just so we could reach the goals that those words set into motion.

Oh yes my fellow Americans, words have iron in them.

Lest we forget: Bob Dylan changed the word with words and pretty darned bad singing voice.

So whatever your political leanings are, please take a moment and remember that a simple carpenter from a forgotten point on the globe somehow used words to change the world as it was and for the first time, gave us all hope for something much better.

I believe, oh yes I believe. Yes We Can!


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

More Bad News..........

As an addendum to the last post, I forgot to mention that you know you hit the big time when you're business is on Paul Harvey's noon broadcast like it was yesterday.

Or when the first story you hear on NPR this morning at 7am is about your company.

Or when you're watching the Democratic Convention and see the news about your employer scroll across the crawler on CNN.

Or when you have a truck driver call you from Delaware and say he just saw you on Fox News.

Or when you click on Google and read about yourself in the New York Times and in the Washington Post.

Or even this morning when on the second page of the USA Today - yep, you guessed it, there you are!

Yea, it's a real live shit storm.

Bad News Travels Fast

Well, it wasn't long before our "raid" was everywhere.

Seems we broke a record! We're the new holder of the largest raid on illegal aliens in the history of illegal alian raids. Not sure how long that goes back but we kicked the shit out of the 400 or so they picked up in an Iowa chicken processing plant.

Transformer plants rule!!!

And all of this truly sucks. There were so many families ripped apart and not to mention that every frickin' one of our mexican restaurants is closed. All of them have "closed due to plumbing problems" on the doors.

How cute is that?

The humanity that is left in the wake of things like this is amazing. Ripples are felt all through the community at large.

Even Wal-Mart looks like a ghost town.

We did all we are required to do in this fuzzy realm of hiring foreigners. We had all the papers we needed to have - so none of us are going to jail. But apparently all of the paperwork, green cards, etc were just not real legal.

And it's not like we hired them for less wages. This is a union shop and everyone makes the same money and it's pretty darned good money.

But it's a shit storm of bad publicity. We're getting calls from our customers saying "oh my GOD, you guys hired illegal aliens"???

Not good press for the worlds largest transformer manufacturer.

We have been processing hundred of people in the last two days for jobs. This should be fun around here until we get them all trained. But it will happen.

So for the next few months, my happy ass will be dancing a jig trying to get stuff done with people that don't know what to do.

But on the bright side of that - well, I'm married and I'm a man - so I'm good at all those things!!

Pray for me. But more seriously, please pray for all of the families that have been destroyed so that they will all be reunited in a place where things are better for them all.


Monday, August 25, 2008

Locked Up and Other Assorted Monday Stuff

Well, I got to work this morning to find over 400 ICE agents had surrounded the building. Two helecopters flying around and lots of guns and crazy shit.

It appears we have been raided. They're taking our Mexicans away on buses.


I pulled up to the gate and the guard told the agent "This is Mr. Kennedy, he's in charge of all this", to which the agent responded "not today he ain't".

So they wouldn't even let me in the building.

And here I sit on my couch at home watching westerns and wondering if in fact this is the real world or the bizzaro world.......

On a happier note, I can report that our dinner party Friday night was a wonderful success. The house was CLEAN, the food was good and a good time was had by all.

All of the pre-stress was gone and my lovely wife had a marvelous time. Therefore I too had a marvelous time!

Well, I hope that your week started off better than mine.

And since there's nothing to do but drink today, here's a toast to the Feds!


Thursday, August 21, 2008

Dinner Party

I love my wife.

For those of you that have to endure me on a regular basis, well, it's safe to say that each of you is painfully aware of that.

Not only do I love her, I regularly worship the ground she walks on.

And love is amazing in that it works like peanut butter and you can smooth it over all kinds of rough spots and it's still smooth as it can be on the top.

I love that about love.

My wife and I are as different as night and day over the course of many different subjects and applications of life and that's just fine with me. Because I love her, she can believe or do whatever she wants and all I have to do is love her.

But every once in a while, the rubber meets the road (so to speak).

And we've got one of those thing this Friday night.

We're having a little dinner party for the church staff. I think we've got 16 coming for dinner and other assorted goodies and I'm really looking forward to it.

This is the kind of stuff that I was born to do and do it as easily as others people get dressed. And not only is it easy for me, I actually love it and look forward to it.

Now my beautiful and wonderful wife, she love it as well. It's just that, well, uh, oh.......let's just say that she STRESSES FREAKIN' OUT.

She wants everything to be perfect and me saying that it will be fine just don't cut it.

So we will clean. And by we, I really mean her. And "we" will make it as good as it can get. And all will go well and when it's over "we" will hug and be so happy at how well it went.

But until that time, don't you dare come to my house because it will be clean and you just won't be allowed in!!!

So it should be a blast. And it will be clean and everything will be perfect and hopefully all of her stress will be gone when the last floor is cleaned.

Here's the menu for those of you standing out in the front yard looking in the window wishing you could come inside.


Cheese platter including all kinds of yummy exotic stuff including some cream cheese with hot pepper jelly.

Honey Dew and Cantalope melon wrapped with proscutto - yum!

Assorted finger foods TBA


Pitcheres of cosmopolitans and sangria with beer and wine for those who can't handle the fancy stuff.


Teriyaki Chicken Shish-K-Bobs with big ole hunks of chicken and veggies grilled hot on the big green egg.

Pineapple and roasted pepper basmati rice pilaf

Asparagus grilled with balsamic and salt

Angel Hair Slaw with oriental dressing



Some two kinds of yummy stuff that my wife is making and I don't remember what they are but I know that they will be good because she is the queen of dessert.

So please pray for me in the next few days.


Mission Statement

Listed below are a series of personal mission statements. Feel free to choose one and make it your very own!

I'm kind of paritial to #23 philisopically but #16 in practical application!

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest .

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets thecheese in the trap

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the hell happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos.What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Monday, August 18, 2008

My New Favorite Olympic Event

That's right - It's Midget Weightliftine Gymnastics!


This boy, um, man is simply amazing. I don't know what NBC would have done without him. I'm not sure what they're going to do with the rest of the Olympics now that he is finished either!
But I hope we all recognize the historical significance of this event. At the time of Mark Spitz' run, I was fairly sure that he would never be surpassed but then again, I know that every once in a while someone comes along that amazes and confounds us.
And Michael Phelps is that man.
I would love to see a resurgence in swimming and see thousands of kids flock to the pool but I also lived that life and know that there are very few of us that are hard-headed enough to go through what is necessary to reach the upper levels.
But it surely was fun watching it.
I still have absolutely no idea how in the world he won the 100 fly except to say that the Hand of God was on him. That brings up all kinds of uncomfortable religious notions for me but I truly have no other explanation for it. He was beat. He was beat good and somehow touched the wall before the other guy.
Like I said, simply amazing.

Friday, August 15, 2008

You Rikey Dis Piture

Have you followed the outrage of the Spanish basketball team at the Olympics and their "chinese-eyes" picture?
If-n we didn't live in such politically correct times I would have to say that this is funny as hell!
But since we do, I'll just snicker and keep it to myself.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Obama's Hillbilly Brother Threatens To Derail His Campaign

Monday, August 11, 2008

Wonderful Tonight

We had a wonderfully marvelous time in New Orleans.

The sights, the sounds, THE FOOD!

Most of all, just getting away with my best friend is the bestest part of it.

And isn't there just something about being alone in a hotel room with the woman of your dreams to get your motor running!!!

Dinner was wonderful at Emeril's Delmonico's.

I had some raw meat for an appetizer with a qual egg dripping down through it. Always tastes better than it sounds.

Then a nice caesar salad that they made tableside with real anchovies and raw eggs. It was very, very good.

Then I had the flat iron steak special which was divine!

For desert it was a trio of some stuff that made my eyes water.

All in all it was marvelous and I'm the luckiest boy in the world!

We got up early Saturday and headed to the coast so my love could test drive a bevy of volkswagons. She fell in love with the convertible. Can't say that i blame her, it was pretty spiffy so now we're in the waiting and thinking about it mode.

All I have to do is figure out how to do it and make it good for her. She's so tight she squeaks!!!

I love that about her as well.......Yea, so I love all things Paige. Sue me.

It is a HUGE pain in the ass to deal with a dealership in another time. For some reason, the only VW dealerships we have in MS are on the Coast and in Jackson. I guess we'll just have to plan mini-vacations around service trips to the dealership!

Got home in time to go over to Preacher Eddie's house for a S U R P R I S E birthday party for a lady at our church. Well attended and the food was great. Plus, I didn't have to cook!!! Even though I would have been happy to do so, they told me they wanted to have a party where Keith came and ate but didn't have to do anything.

I'm starting to get a complex about that kind of shit.................

Anyway, it's Monday and I love my life.

I hope everyone is just as happy about how yours is working.


Thought for the Day

Ever wondered why they don't make butt-flavored dog food?

Friday, August 08, 2008

The Big Easy

Tonight, my love and I are headed to New Orleans for a little R&R.
Dinner at Delmonico's. Yum. One of Emeril's old-line restaurants he bought and reopened when he was beginning his empire. It's one of the oldest in the city and a fine, fine place.
I've got my sights set on some red meat and a nice ceasar salad made tableside. I can't wait.
Also looking very much forward to a nice room at the Mason Dupey Hotel and all the stuff that goes with that.
Yep, I'm a lucky boy!
So here's hoping that all of you have a wonderful weekend and that at some point you get to look into the eyes of someone that takes your breath away so you can feel lucky too............

Thursday, August 07, 2008


I become confused when I hear these terms which reference the word 'service':

Internal Revenue 'Service'

Telephone 'Service'

Internet 'Service'

T.V. 'Service'

Civil 'Service'

Government 'Service'

Customer 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'service' meant. But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'service' a few cows.

BAM!!! It all came into perspective. I now understand what all those 'service' agencies are doing to us.

I hope you are as enlightened as I am.


Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Food For Thought

Took yesterday off to fulfill one of my missions in life.
We are all slaves to our talents and one of mine is that I cook. I cook a lot. I cook pretty darned good. But most importantly, I normally say YES to cooking...............
So yesterday was the day that my church choose to have a "welcome back to school" luncheon for the neighborhood elementary school teachers.
And I said YES, again, so I cooked.
Now we're not talking about complicated fare here. Hamburgers, beans, tater salad - just good ole country feed lots of people food.
And it went well.
Everyone ate their fill and they were happy that our church did it for them. I was happy because it made me feel good about being able to do things for others.
All in all, it was a good day and I was blessed for doing it.
But more importantly, and as a part of the bigger picture, I am really proud of my church for doing all this. This inner city school does not have all the bells and whistles that us more fortuate folks get to enjoy with our kids. The education money, like most other government stuff is way down. I'm not sure if the PTA is very active here since we're talking about poor folks and lots of single parents - but it has to be a blessing to have an outside agency take such as strong hand in providing things.
Take for example, the teacher's lounge. Some people from our church went over and completely redid the entire thing. New paint, fixtures, flooring, furniture, art work for the name it, and it's new.
And from the reactions of the teachers you would have thought they had just won the lottery.
So yea for us for doing the right thing. Or at least, taking steps in the right direction.
So many of our churches are so "self-serving" and the outreach is limited to those things that are comfortable. Well life is not always comfortable and we are called to go out and participate in all kinds of things.
But then again, I'm just the cook.

Monday, August 04, 2008

I Have Faith In You

I went to church yesterday and sat there and soaked it all in and was fulfilled.

And you know what?

That’s amazing. It truly is……….

Sometimes, everything clicks and all of a sudden you have enlightenment.

And enlightenment is so very cool.

I’m one of those that like to go around appreciating enlightenment. I say that because it’s apparent to me that many people do not contemplate enlightenment because they have no idea what the hell it is. Then there are those that go looking for it. I guarantee you that enlightenment is something that the harder you look for it, the harder it is to find.
Enlightenment is the end result of a million things coming together at one time and providing clarity on something that was hard to understand at one time.

Kind of like love. You know love, my favorite subject?!!!

All of these higher functions are illogical at best. I mean, seriously, how do you explain Love? Or Faith? Or Satisfaction?

Logic tells us that these things are the end result of something or maybe a string of somethings.

But logic has nothing to do with it because it’s all illogical.

So much of life is tit for tat. You do for me and I’ll do for you. But the best things in life just are. And the more you think about them in terms of this for that – the less since they make.

But it can be argued that those things that make no sense are the best things in life and the very things that make it so worth living.

I had a wonderful weekend with my wife. We had lots more time than normal to be with each other without any distractions. Which means no kids………….

And in that time that I spent in her presence, well, it was like being dipped in healing waters and brought out fresh and clean with my heart and spirit renewed and refreshed.

We get so busy “doing” life that we forget about the joys that are inherent in “living” life.

And I was reminded of all that joy this weekend. The joy of life, the joy of faith, the joy of love. Just lots of joy all around for me. Yea for me!!!

So my prayer is that all of you find some enlightenment in places where you had forgotten to look for a while. And if you catch a glimpse of it, please hold on to it with both hands and squeeze tight.

For we are never promised tomorrow.