Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Borrowing Words from the Ancients......

My love is still on the coast at a meeting and I'm missing her.

I can't call her and tell her that I'm missing her because she'll call me a GIRL.

So I'll just save my words but allow them to bang around in my heart and bring me more certainty about me being in love with the most amazing woman in the world.

And if that makes me a girl, well, bring on the 44DD's.

So instead, I'll borrow some words from Elizabeth Barrett Browing...............

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and bredth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints - I love thee with a breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life - and if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

So there, I couldn't have said it better myself!!!


Monday, June 25, 2007

Happiness is a Warm Girl

I feel amazing today. And I hope you do too!

I went last night and stayed at the Beau Rivage Resort, Hotel, Casino and home of very expensive restaurants in Biloxi, MS. My girl has a conference down there all week and she put me in her suitcase for a while!

It was wonderfully wonderful time because I was with the most amazing woman I have ever known.

And oh do I love her.

As I left this morning driving the 100 miles to work I pondered my life and all the blessings I have.

And I think I’ve finally come to terms with the grandfather issue and am now just ready for a baby.

Hoping my daughter will just give me the baby.

I doubt it, but one can hope!

But otherwise, I was thinking about how for so much of my life I have been running – either towards something or away from something and I realized that I’m not running anywhere anymore.

I’m right in the sweet spot of life and am actually just enjoying the hell out of it!

I’m in love with a girl that is worth more than all the money in the world and the most amazing thing is that - she loves me back!

That’s one that us boys don’t get to say too often. It’s usually us loving girls way beyond our reach – but this time, oh this time – she loves me back!!!

And that makes for one fulfilling life……….

Hope is something that we all treat with a bit of suspicion. I think our nature tells us that when things are so good that something awful is bound to happen.

I don’t think like that.

I truly appreciate what I have and will do whatever is necessary to keep it going. Nothing is easy in life and there is effort involved in all things – good and bad!

No one has the power to foretell the future. And isn’t that a good thing? Take away the amazing element of surprise and mystery and our lives would be very long and very boring!

But honestly, the inability to predict even the next moment is only a problem when we insist on imagining the worst.

Do you know people that do that? Always thinking the worst is going to happen and then being surprised when it rarely does.

Many people get their emotional exercise jumping to negative conclusions. They conjure evil coming from everywhere to do them harm or ruin their life. In doing that, I believe people withdraw themselves for the possibility that an opportunity for joy is right around the corner the next time the phone rings.

Those people tend to reject positive advances from friends and loved ones because they start to see ulterior motives in everything.

But enough of that stuff. All I’ll say is that the future is the place where we’re going to spend the REST OF OUR LIVES! And it is truly our choice whether we look forward with confidence and courage or if we choose to walk blindfolded toward some impending doom.

And the older I get, the more I realize that tomorrows have a very strange way of becoming todays…………it is certainly to my advantage to try to live more in the present and enjoy each moment of my life.

I guess the most amazing thing about all of this is that for the first time in my life, the place I want to be is the actual place I am.

Which makes me the luckiest boy in the world.

I’ll pray that for you as well.


Thursday, June 21, 2007


I had my first "physical therapy" session today.

Let's break that down.....

Physical - having to do with our physical beings (or our body's for you less sophisticated folks)

Therapy - to work on something to make it either better or "normal"

Well, first of all - there's nothing "normal" about my back. There are some titanium rods and screws and plates and things but I don't think "normal" comes in to it at all.

That leaves the physical stuff.

So this large guy named Clint twisted me into several pretzel-type positions. Oh no, I couldn't get one of the cute girls - I got someone like me who is serious about making me scream.

But I survived.

Now all I want to do is cry.

So, sniff, I'm off to lay down.

God Bless

Monday, June 18, 2007

Thank Heaven For Little Girls

There's not much better than little girls.

And I want all you perverts to stop that line of thinking right now. That's not what I'm talking about.

Little girls are amazingly energetic and full of life and intrigue.

We had an 8-year old birthday party yesterday. Some food, some ice cream cake and then me hauling 5 of them to the movie theater and sitting through the new Nancy Drew movie.

Bad movie for a 46-year old grandpa to be at!

You can bet on the behavior pattern of little girls very easily. It goes from extreme excitment to something like jealousy and then to sniping and finally COMBAT.

There are only so many hours that a gaggle of little girls can spend together without someone getting killed or injured.

And it's a hoot to watch.

My lady says that I have so much patience with the little girls.

I don't feel the same way.

After a while, I find I'll have to go to another room before I "act out" - which is an adult way of saying that I'll start yelling..........

But it is a joy to watch them be so happy - for whatever limited time that is for.

I think the trick is for there to be no more than two girls together at any one time. I find that when there are more, especially an odd number, that some will gang up on others and make their lives miserable - just because they can!

But no matter how the patience flies out the window, there is a certian amount of positive karma or blessings that we adults get from interacting with the kids. You can't find that kind of stimulation anywhere else in our adult worlds. The pure abandon that they seem to have when they are enjoying themselves.

Maybe there is even a lesson in there somewhere.

I'll keep looking for it and I'll let you know when I find out for sure!


p.s. If you do something bad, don't ever let Nancy Drew on the case because I guarantee you that she'll solve it - with style!


I know I’ve been feeling a little sorry for myself lately – and that is certainly not at all like me.

I’m the boy that celebrates things that other people don’t even notice.

And I don’t like the way I’m feeling. I’m talking to myself every day and have somewhat come to grips with the fact that the life I envisioned for my very intelligent and beautiful daughter may just not come to pass.

But in reality, those are her choices. Not mine. Her decision to make the best of a situation that she finds herself in.

My job, as always, is just to love and support.

But I feel my huge pool of patience has been hit by a drought and the water level is sinking fast.

Yesterday was father’s day and I got a text message saying happy father’s day from both my kids…………

Feelings hurt? Ignored?

Sad to say, no and I’m assuming that is because I’m just a little numb right now.

One thing this situation has really done for me is to bring to the front of my heart my feelings for the girl I love.

When I say, again, that I could have never made this without her – well, that is the biggest understatement I’ve ever made. I could not even contemplate all of this without the context of my relationship with her.

She’s the peanut butter to my stale bread, covering everything with a nice smooth coat that smells and tastes so very good!

Oh yea, she’s my wonderwall……………

You know, the majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will be most likely no ticker-tape parades for us and no monuments created in our honor. But in truth, that does not lessen our impact that we can have on those around us.

There are a bazillion people in the world waiting for someone just like us to come along and bring some light to their universe. Waiting for someone who will appreciate them for who they are and not what they do. Waiting for someone who will enjoy their unique talents and will live a much happier life just because we’re in it.

We have so much to give and there are so many people who need it.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or even the smallest act of caring.

It’s truly overwhelming to think that we have nothing but continuous opportunities in our lives to make our love felt by so many people.

So that’s what I’m going to concentrate on.

My girl is so good at that giving stuff. She is always there when someone needs her and she seems to anticipate these things and be at the right place at the right time.

And I admire her so much for that.

I try to tell her that all the time, that not only do I love her – but I also admire and respect her for all she is and all she does and just the entire package.

I ache sometimes when I think of how amazing she is and that she could love me back.

It’s like a dream come true.

So when I feel down about something else – I start to feel stupid because no matter what happens in the storms of life, I have someone that loves me and there is truly nothing else of consequence that life presents to us that matters more.

So next time you see me – kick me in the ass and remind me to smile.


Sunday, June 17, 2007

Who's Lost That Lovin' Feelin'.......

OK, feeling better - it's been two weeks and I haven't killed anyone yet. Haven't had my face melt like a Nazi in the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Haven't kicked any puppies.

The most amazing thing is that during all this pain and suffering, my love has grown and grown and grown for the woman that I adore.

I was told today in church that the chinese symbol for crisis is the same one they also use for opportunity...............

Sounds like bullshit to me - but the lady that told me is always very sweet to me so I can't imagine her just making that up.

Either way, I'd love to pass this "opportunity" along to the next person but I guess it's my cross to bear.

So sweet God, let me bear it with humility.

In order to practice my humility I am about to go see the new Nancy Drew movie with six 8-year olds.

So please pray for me and my humility!

Peace and happy father's day to all you dads.

And you muther's as well................

Thursday, June 14, 2007

"Dude" Where's my Grandkid?

So the doctor says I'm going to be a grandpa on January 5. My daughter is 11 weeks pregnant. My baby girl is going to have a baby.........

Still haven't swallowed this yet.

Think I'll chew a while longer.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007


It's been a very hard week.

Trying so hard to not be mad. Not be disappointed. Not be crushed. Not to blame myself for some kind of failing I'm not familiar with.

The logical side of my brain, which is the one that normally operates, is telling me that these things happen. You know, shit happens. The emotional side of my brain is screaming at me. Luckily, the logic is still winning.

I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 46 - I'm not old enough to be a grandfather.

Well, I guess that I am.

But I don't FEEL like I'm old enough to be a grandfather.

(Speaking of that - I'm asking for cool names for me and Miss Paige to be called by the baby when the time is right. My love is very anxious about this name thing so I'll need lots of ideas from the peanut gallery.)

I'm afraid my daughter is condemning herself to a life of mobile homes............

And that's all I can think of.

I raised her in very fine fashion. She loves fine French restaurants and now she's on par for McDonalds instead. I know in my heart of hearts she will not be happy - but how do you impart that to someone that hard-headed?

Quite simply, my heart is breaking and I don't know what to do. I want to help - and that is my nature - but at the same time, I need for her to get a taste of "real life". But a daddy can't stand to see his little princess suffer.

I don't know what to do.

I just don't.

So I'll take your prayers and know that in time all will be revealed.

In the meantime I'm grateful to the woman that loves me. Quite possibly the sweetest thing that has ever happened to me was when she hugged me and told me that we were in this together and we would deal with whatever happened.

How does someone like me deserve that? I'm telling you honestly that I feel like the luckiest boy in the world. I absolutely adore and respect this woman I love and I want no less for both of my children.

And yet I see the mistakes before they happen.

Yep, wisdom is truly wasted on the old..........


Friday, June 08, 2007

Political Commentary

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Two Sides of Every Dog

I love my dog Sadie............

Life and How to Live It

Alrighty then.

Time to get off the couch and stop worrying.

Life will be what it will be and we have control over how we deal with things.

So what that my daughter is pregnant. I love babies.

So what if she had to move into my quiet farm retreat so she would have a roof over her head. I didn't go out there much.

So what if my insurance doesn’t cover dependent pregnancies. I'm sure she can get on MEDICAID............

So what if the boy has no job.

So what if he has no vehicle to drive except my daughter’s new car.

So what if what I know to be true about people that start out life like this comes to pass.

It’s only life, after all.

OK, now I’m going back to the couch.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Take It As It Comes......

Well, I got some good news today. The insurance adjuster called and said that they didn't have any way to set repair costs on the motorcycle that they would have to take the estimate of the Harley shop and/or just total it if that's what I wanted.

That's very cool.

Now this is tempered by the fact that my daughter dropped out of school and her fiance/motherfucker that got her pregnant neither one has a job or insurance.

If I wasn't in love madly with a girl that made my life so wonderful................I think I would just eat a bullet and go to sleep.

More news at 11!!!

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Grandpa Keith

OK, so I had a rough day.

First a boy asked me if he could marry my daughter.

Then she showed me the engagement ring.

Then she told me she was pregnant.

Then her fiance had a bad wreck on my motorcycle.

So how was your day?