Sunday, May 30, 2010

No Soup For You!

It's been a piggy kind of holiday weekend.

Saturday night was 100lbs of crawfish with all the trimmings. I went all out on the seasoning and apparently it was a huge success. My wife kept going on and on about it.

Of course, the ironic thing is that I hate them so therefore I wouldn't know a good one from a bad one - even if it bit me in the balls.

But I will not only take the praise she heaped on me, I will also take the fact that she ate for almost 2 hours as confirmations!

Then today, as our Memorial Day cookout continued to grow in scope, I got up at 7 and got the smoker loaded up. And I do mean full!

4 boston butts and 6 racks of rib went in. The ribs came out after 4 hours and the butts stayed on for 9. After the ribs came off, I sauced them, wrapped them in foil and put them in the oven for 2 more hours. OMG they were good.

Then I got the grill cranked up. The Big Green Egg was loaded up with the old lump charcole and I let it cook for an hour before I started putting the meat on. It was 700 degrees when I put 5 lbs of cajun sausage on there to begin with.

Needless to say that I got enough fire from the hot grill with the sausage on it that it burned off all the cobwebs I had in the corners of the garage!

Then I threw on some pork tenderloin with a pepper crust and glazed it with an oriental orange/ginger sauce and wow - was that good. On a grill that hot, I got it medium rare in literally 2 minutes!

After that, it was time for the chicken wings and legs. I had cooked them in the oven for an hour so they were already done, I just sauced and crusted them on the grill. Did 5 turns on them and when I pulled them off, that homemade bbq sauce had formed a huge coating that was stuck on the bird. That was my favorite part of the meat extravaganza....I loves me some yardbird!

Of course, we had all the trimmings as well. I did some slow cooked baked beans. 4 hours of magic happens when you take the time to make the beans happy.

We also did some oriental crispy slaw which was delish. It's the slaw with the crushed up ramen noodles in it. It was truly the shiznitz. Furshizzle it was!

And then it was the ubiquitous tater salad. I chose to do a German variety. Made a great sauce with vinegar, sugar, celery, onions and creole mustard. PLUS a whole pound of bacon, boiled eggs and, oh - I've got to stop because I'm getting hungry all over again........and I'm still stuffed!

But for me, it truly was about the family coming over. I don't have much family anymore so truly, my wife's family is it for me. And I love cooking for family during holidays. It was so good to have people in the house that are connected in such a deep way. Of course, we only invited the ones we liked so that left many of them out. At least they'll never know what they missed!

I love my wife so much......and by virtue of that, I love her family too. Some are a bit crazy, but don't we all have that in our own families!

So as we cruise into the actual Memorial Day tomorrow, I pray that everyone will stop and remember all of the brave folks that have done so much to keep our way of life available to each of us.

God Bless the United States of American.......and no one else!

OK, I stole that from Chris Rock movie where he was elected president.....

So sue me.


Friday, May 28, 2010

Grandparent Stories.....

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful
eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After
she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But
Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably
never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet
paper good-bye....

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a
moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into
old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she
heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew
thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their
room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the
room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I
sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said,
"No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think
you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us
with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm
not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says
I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said
a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you
know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day
when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire
truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she
said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she
lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then,
when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good
things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My grandparents are funny. When they bend over, you hear gas leaks
and they blame their dog.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Kitten Survives!

Most of my avid readers out there know that I have a problem inadvertantly killing kittens - certainly not out of cruelty, just simply as a result of certain functions I must do in order to survive in a day-to-day world.....

But here's one that got away!

A Persian kitten gave her owners the shock of their lives when she emerged from the washing machine, dizzy and bedraggled after surviving a full cycle.

Brendon Rogers, from Manly Vale, Sydney, said four-month-old Kimba, a white, fluffy kitten, must have climbed into the front-loader machine when the door was open and curled up on the dirty clothes -- unbeknownst to his father Lyndsay who turned the machine on for a cold wash.

They were both amazed when the cycle -- including a high level spin -- finished and they opened the door to pull out the clothes to find Kimba in the machine.

"We could hardly believe our eyes when she emerged, looking like a drowned rat," he told Reuters.

Although Kimba was alive she clearly needed help so they rushed her to the vet where she was put on an intravenous drip and treated for shock and hypothermia.

Her eyes were also badly affected by the detergent and needed treatment.

"It is just amazing that she survived but we reckon she's used all of her nine lives," said Rogers.

Holy Shit!

Holy Shit! Willie cut off all his hair........oh his mojo is gone.

He'll be dead in a month.....

Earl......I Mean Oil

the first picture is how South Louisiana is supposed to look, the next 15 pictures are how it looked this week.....

I have never worked in the oil business so I don't know a lot about what needs to happen. But I can count and I know we're on day 35 since this happened and the oil is still streaming into our waters.

And I want it stopped!

This is a disaster of biblical proportions and we won't even begin to know the effect for quite a while.

This will make Katrina look like a thunderstorm before it's over.

So today, I'll be praying that the first picture, taken in Venice, LA will not be labled "the good ole days".


Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Heart News!

Got a good report from the doc this week.

After much looking and poking from the inside and out, they found no heart disease in me. No blockages, no plaque, no problem.

Now we're going to stay on the heart medicine for a few months and go back and get another echocardiogram in August to see if my enlargement has changed any.

It could be that I really do just have a big heart!

But all my pressures and stuff are normal so it appears that I'm not going to die anytime soon.

It's weird when you start thinking about mortality. You get older and folks around you die for all kinds of reasons - but still you feel like you always have so you don't think about it much.

Kind of makes you wonder if the folks that died thought about it either........

But when they start messing around with your heart, I'll tell you for sure that you start to worry about it.

You think of all the things you didn't do that you wanted to. All of the unfinished things in your life. I wonder if we ever get them done?

Somehow, I don't think so.

I'm sure we go until we can't and then we just lay down and die.

I have had relatives that lived a full life and just wanted to die so they could rest and I truly do understand that.

But I'm so happy with my life that I can't even contemplate that.

Which may be is why we jump out of bed ready to face the day each morning.

Who knows???

All I know is that I now have one less thing to worry about so color me happier than a clown at a birthday party!


Hot, Hot, Hot

I'm pretty much sick of this hot weather already........and it's still May!

Waking up to all the humidity and then watching it go above 90 before I even get a chance to wake up good just ain't fair.

What ever happened to Spring?

Did I miss it by going to sleep one night or is Al Gore freaking right?

Either way, I'm bound and determinted to win the Powerball tonight. All 190 million dollars.......and when I do, I'm going to buy me a ranch in Wyoming and every April, I'm going to move up there until Septmember or October and then come back down here where the temps will be a bit more reasonable!


Thursday, May 20, 2010

More Birthday!

I had to share the best card I got........normally I don't reproduce other folks thoughts because I have so many of my own........but this was good!

Front of the card says: Happy Birthday

Open it and it states: you're one year closer to finding out if there really is a god and heaven and angels and shit.....or if worms are going to slowly eat your decomposing ass while you rot in a box. Good luck with that!

How's that for a getting older philosophy!

Osso Bucco

In the constant continuation of my birthday "week", I had a good day yesterday.

My most incredibly beautiful wife bought me a Bose Acoustic Wave Stereo system with an I-Pod dock and it is absolutely incredible. It now sits in the kitchen where it will keep me company as I make amazing dishes for folks to eat!

It maybe the best present I've ever gotten (except for the relationship I have with her, which for me, is what defines my very life!)

Then some of my friends took us to the Purple Parrot for a belated birthday dinner.

And OMG was it good!

As you may have guessed from the title of this post, I had the Osso Bucco and it was simply to die for!

We had a wonderful bottle of Biali Black Chicken Zinfindel.

The girls both got the pork chop with the cheese grits and that was very impressive as well.

The other boy had the veal chop..........Oh man, I need to stop these descriptions now because I'm getting very hungry all over again!

So I am very happy today because I had a wonderful celebration!

Even if I did drink too much.......

So remember, if you forgot to celebrate my birth, it's still not too late!


Tuesday, May 18, 2010


You say it's your's my birthday too!

Had the weirdest birthday ever. Actually, it's wasn't much of one at all.

I had to take the beautiful and soon to be moving step-daughter up to see my friend the oral surgeon in Jackson so she could get her wisdom teeth cut out.

And I do mean cut out....

She did fine but was scared to death. The happy juice they gave her just knocked her for a loop!

After I got her in the car with her boyfriend for the ride back home, I stopped and had lunch with a dear friend in downtwon Jackson at the Mayflower Cafe' - and believe me, it doesn't get more old school than that!

Then I drove home and had the pleasure of waiting an hour and a half for Walgreens to fill the I finally make it home about 4:30.

Some birthday, huh?

I did get to eat out with my lovely wife at the Conestoga Steak House and she insisted on paying!

I don't like that girl paying stuff - it just ain't right.

But I will say that facebook was very active for me yesterday. I think the last count was something like 138 happy birthday wishes..........and I answered every single one of them!

So yea, it was a long day and not at all how I envisioned it to be - but that's life.

And life is what we live because tomorrow is always a new day!


Friday, May 14, 2010

Isn't It Ironic (don't ya think?)

Heart of a Teenager

Well, the results are in!

No, I don't have a heart of stone.

No, I don't have a heart made of swiss cheese.

I have a heart of a teenager!

At least, that's what the cardiologist told my wife.

I'm sure she wanted to tell him that wasn't the only aspect of my life that was like a teenager, but I'm sure that her sense of propriaty did not allow her to go into details like that!

The heart cath was very cool. I got to watch it and everything.

They inserted a huge, and I mean HUGE, IV into my arm, plopped me on a metal table in a very cold room, covered me with a warm blanket, shaved my pubes on the right side, gave me some ineffectual narcotics and plunged a huge thing into my femoral artery!

Then the doctor threaded a guide wire up to my heart, then threaded a sheath around that thing and then put in another thing with a jaws and star wars stuff on it.

I was lying flat on that slab but was able to watch in the monitor as the went along. It was so cool.....

I watched him go up this way and then down that way - I watched him shoot this contrasting dye all over and then saw how it "lit" up the veins and arteries as it went around the old heart.

I did not notice anything that didn't look like it didn't go where it was supposed to - and that's a good thing!

The doctor said he didn't see anything that wasn't as it was supposed to me.

Yea for me.

I guess the biggest thing is that it didn't hurt at all. Not even a little. I'm sure that there probably aren't many nerve endings on the inside of you - but I certainly expected there to be some discomfort. I mean, after all, they shoved something as big as a telephone cord through half of my body!

So for those of you that prayed for me - thanks!

For those of you that wished I was going to die, well, better luck next time!


Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I went for the injections in my spine yesterday morning......

And believe me, that's not any fun!

Unfortunately, the medicine they give you that makes you not care about pain just doesn't work on me. I am what they call "narcotic conditioned" and I'm afraid that means just what it sounds like.

It's always been hard for me to get um, "altered".

I have a very strong constitution or whatever you call it. It takes tons of alcohol for me to get a buzz and the same is true with narcotics.

Which really sucks when they have you naked on a cold table in an operating room and you're getting huge needles stuck in your spine.

My doctor lady compensated by using lots of lydocaine for local deadening - which has the amazing ability to make your butt cheeks go completely numb. Plus you can't walk for a few hours because your legs don't work. It's the same stuff the dentist uses to numb your mouth for a filling and I'm sure you know how your mouth feels after yea, it sucks.

But I'm hopeful that all the steroids she shot me up with will work for a while and relieve some pain. Hell, she gave me 6 shots so it better do something.

Looking on the bright side of things, even if all these steroids don't help with the pain, I'll for sure be able to hit home runs for the next few weeks!!

Pray for relief.......I deserve it for something, I'm sure.


Sunday, May 09, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!

I may dress up and play cowboy once a month - but as this "revealing" photo from Mother's Day surely wife can ride anything!!

Happy Mother's Day to all you mommy's out there

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Heart Like A Hammer

So I go last week to get a bunch of heart tests done.

Nuclear Stress Test
Cat Scan Imaginging
24 hour strapped to a holter montior test

Then my doctor calls me and says they are going to put me on some heart medicine.

Just a light one to help regulate my heart a little better. He says that it will probably take over a month to get an appointment to see a heart doctor.

Then he calls yesterday and tells me that I need to go today to see one - at noon....

Which to me says that there were no appointments and the guy is going to see me his freaking lunch break.

This getting older shit is for the birds!

Should be an interesting day, to say the least......

I have no idea what could be wrong but since heart issues were a huge problem for both of my parents and most of my uncles I can safely assume that heredity is playing a huge role in all this.

The real problem for me is that I feel so good.

I realize that heart problems are mostly gradual so maybe you don't notice them.

Maybe I feel good because I'm so happy and this is the only way I know to feel.

Who knows, but I believe in me and whatever it is that this old doctor fellow is going to tell me will be just fine because I can handle whatever comes my way.

It's how I grew up. When faced with a challenge, I rush to meet it head on.

So please pray for my wife. She's the worrier in the family.....

But if you want to pray for my heart - please feel free to do so!


Wednesday, May 05, 2010

It's May!

As we setting into a strong spring here in the southland.....I'm also reminded that it is my birthday MONTH.

That's right - my momma always told me that I was special and I believed her - therefore I get an entire month to celebrate my birthday.

So feel free to buy me stuff, shower me with adoration and just generally elevate me over all the others in your life!


P.S. It'll be June before you know it!

Flanders Field......

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.