Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Observations On A Sick World

Have you ever wondered about the contradictions in our times? Take our friends, the Muslim Extremists for example:

...You refine heroin for a living but have a moral objection to beer.

...You own a $300 assault rifle and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

...You think vests only come in two styles: Bullet-Proof and Suicide.

...You’ve used a Stinger missile given to you by George Bush Sr. to shoot at a helicopter sent by George Bush Jr.

...You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry live ammunition in your robe.

...You believe the Koran is the divine word of Allah, worth dying for, but yet you don’t know how to read.

...You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon “unclean”.

Now I'm a reasonable man - but the fact is that our world is full of contradictions that make absolutely no sense to me.

So I'm going to live my life by the John Lennon school of thought..............."All you need is Love".


Tuesday, November 27, 2007

It's Time!!! Tales of Disney and Black Friday

Believe it or not, I spent a year at Disney World - up at the crack of dawn and never to bed before the streets rolled up.

OK, it was only 6 days. But it seemed like a year.............

But the point is that we survived. We made it!!!

Not only that - but we agreed that it was amazing because no one got mad, feelings hurt or miscommunicated anything. We had nothing but teamwork and a mutual disgust of Disney food.

Hannah was amazing with her little sister (who can be just a tad "active" at times.........).

We survived the family holiday in the most crowdedest place on earth.

I even survived having to sleep in clothes. Us naked sleepers need to do that when the daughters are in the room, you know - for proprieties sake.

So for the highlights.




I love rollercoaster - unfortunately they don't really have any real ones there.

OK, the fireworks at the Magic Kingdom over the castle were amazingly magical - just like the name says. They were truly amazing.

The lights at MGM Studios were equally awe inspiring.

Now I sound like an old Grandpaw - Oh wait, I'm going to be next month................

The two flight simulator rides were GREAT. Especially the Mission to Mars one. That one made me nausiated for two hours!!! Now that's the test of a great experience.

So yea, the rides weren't so great. But they weren't bad either. I guess they're just Disney safe for all ages.

Not my style.

I guess I'll just leave the entire experience where I started with it - in amazement that it went so well and be very happy for that.

And now you're probably wondering what in the hell the picture at the beginning of this post is about. Well.....................

Yea, so we traveled home on Thanksgiving day, not in order to miss a high caloric meal with family, no-no-no, we're both all about the high caloric meal, it was so we could be home in time for my wife and her oldest shopper buddy to get up hours before the crack of dawn and be out the door long before that crack ever thought about showin up and start shopping.

Many stores opened at 4am. WTF???

This is madness - and yet I can't argue with the success of it. My wife bought everyone in the known world a Christmas present before 2pm that afternoon. She even had to come home and unload the car to make room for more presents.

They were delirious - giggling at things not funny. Eyes glazed over and looking for something that only they knew where it was. I swear they could see elves and fairies from another dimension without even focusing.

An amazing thing to witness. I am in awe.

I ventured out, once, to Best Buy to check on a camera I wanted and got in the claustrophobic crush and ran back out the door and to my car where I was safely back, sandwiched in traffic in my own space.

I quickly retreated back home and hit out until later.

How, oh how could these crowds in Hattiesburg, MS be worse than in Disney Freakin' World?

Now don't get me wrong. I think that the ability to go out and basically finish your Christmas shopping on a single day is amazing. I think that certainly the retailers set the day up to entice people to do just that with all the sales.

But jeeeeezzzzzzuuuuuusssssss - it's crazy. And it's certainly not for me. I'm more of the Christmas Eve shopper guy.

I am glad there are women in the world that can do this. Just like bearing children, I don't think that Black Friday Christmas Shopping is a man's thing. We're just not psychologically enabled to do this.

Or maybe it's learned behavior.

I have no idea.

All I know is that it came and now it's over.

Hell, I don't even know where she hid the stuff.

Anyway, glad to be back.

I love each and everyone of you. Expect you Sid, you're a little creepy.


Saturday, November 24, 2007

Misery World

OK gang, I survived!

But after a week at Disney World going from 8am to midnight every day, well, it may be a while before I have the energy to contemplate making sense of any of it.

All I know is that I was with the one that means the most to me - and that in itself made it all very worthwhile.

So stay tuned for more adventures................


Friday, November 16, 2007

See Ya!

OK, it's time to go to Disney World.

We're leaving tomorrow so any of you that want to come over to the house and take stuff off the front porch, now's your time.

But don't go inside, the dog will eat your ass.

We are taking the family vacation and we're looking forward to a good time to be had by all and praying that no one kills anyone.

The littlest and cutest one has never flown, so she is very excited. Little does she know that the reason we are flying is because the rest of us voted and decided that there was no way we could keep her chatterbox quiet enough to drive to Orlando!

But all will be well.

I'll make sure of it.

It's what I do!!!

So Happy Thanksgiving to you all and we'll check in later.


Bizzzzzaaaaarrrrreeeeee Lyrics

Here are the bizarre lyrics for Friday.

they asked me my name
and I said "Captain Kid"
they believed me but
they wanted to know
what exactly that I did

I said for the Pope of Eruke
I was employed

they let me go right away
they were very paraniod

Be sure to go see the new Dylanesque movie "I'm Not There" as soon as it comes to your neck of the woods.

If not, well then you can just continue to be confused about the bizarre lyrics.


Thursday, November 15, 2007

Hurry Up and RAIN!

Well, we survived Atlanta.

Made it back safe and sound.

But there certainly needs to be some rain falling in Georgia or something bad is going to happen.

I noticed right away that none of the fancy fountains were working.

I noticed that several restaurants had "non" flushing urinals in the bathrooms.

Stanky pee

And then we went to the Georgia Aquarium and thought that it must have been one of the coolest things I've ever seen - but I started to feel guilty about all that water that the fish were using in there. I can't imagine how many thousands of gallons that the whale tank must have in it behind the 13 inches of glass. And wouldn't there be a better use for all that water?


So later that night, I went back to the aquarium and let the drain plug out and turned the fountains back on.

It was much nicer then and we had lots of sushi for breakfast the next morning.


Friday, November 09, 2007

Hot 'Lanta

OK folks, we're a headed to Atlanta, the hub of the modern south. I'm not really sure what that means since most folks that live in Atlanta are from somewhere else.

But southern culture is alive and well, at least on MARTA. And if you don't understand that statement, then you just ain't from around here!

Got me to thinking about our southern humor. We are good at laughing at ourselves - we don't like it for shit if someone else laughs at us, but we can do it all day long to us'ns.

For instance:

Why are Driver Education classes only taught on Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the South? Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the car is used by the Sex Education class.


What do you call a Southern Farmer with a sheep under his arm? A pimp!

What about:

What make a zoo in the South unique? On the plaque in front of the cage, there is a picture of the animal, a description of the animal and his habitat as well as a recipe for how to cook it.

And Finally:

What is the difference between a regular fairy tale and a southern fairy tale? The regular one begins with "Once upon a time......." and the southern one starts out "Ya'll ain't gonna believe this shit........."

So as I take my beloved toward the apex of culture in our land, I will keep an eye out for anything of interest and report back later.

I'll also be carrying a gun, like all Southern Gentlemen should!


Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Georgia On My Mind

My beloved wife has been trying on clothes for our trip to Atlanta next week. I'm voting for her to wear this one but I'm willing to let ya'll vote on it.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Almost Done...............

Any prayers for graduation will be accepted by this blog. If you are uncomfortable with prayer - donations would be greatly appreciated!

I wonder if he worries about what he will be doing this time next year? I wonder if the thought of the future weighs on his mind?

I remember what it was like when I finished college. How uncertain everything was. How would I define myself? What would my vocation be?

I wanted all of those questions answered. And that is NOT the right way to think of that. Life should come at you and decisions should be made, not in advance, but in reaction to the place where you find yourself.

My father went all over the world and did all kinds of things, with no security anywhere - therefore, I have had the same job my entire adult life. Oh, I'm not complaining, it's a great job. And it's a job that I created and nurtured and molded into what I wanted it to be.

But I wonder what it would have been like if I had just taken a chance and followed my dreams.

Not sure if I even remember what those dreams were back then - but I do ask myself from time to time "what if".

Those questions are hard for me because for the first time in my life, I am exactly where I want to be and with whom I want to be.

And those two things may actually be one in the same!

So I pray for my son. I pray that he finds, not success - but happiness.

Be happy son, in whatever you do - but more importantly, in WHO you do. Never settle for less than you want. For down that path is disappointment. Strive for what you truly desire and let the chips fall where they may.

Find your vision quest and go.


It's a Sick World

I have had the cold from hell for about 10 days.

It's almost over for me - and of course, today, my beloved woman and her incredibly cute daughter are now home with it.

I like to share.

We went to the movies on Saturday night and saw "Gone Baby Gone". The new Affleck film. Ben directed and Casey starred. It was great! Loved it. Twisted and turned and even though I pride myself on plot twists and turns - I thought I had it figured out, but wasn't sure until it played itself out.

Highly recommend it.

We wanted to go see American Gangster - but apparently everyone else in Hattiesburg did also so we decided to wait until that one slowed down a bit.

Then yesterday was the long anticipated church picnic.

OK, so I may have made up the long anticipated thing up.

But it was a very cool picnic because my friend Wes along with engineering help from a smarter Keith than me build the biggest baddest grill/smoker/18-wheeler I've ever seen.

Must be 15 feet tall and 25 feet long. I see many good times associated with the Merry Pranksters as we travel the world to bring culinary delight to the masses.

Or, if not that, at least some good BBQ's and bon-fires at Wes' place in the country!

So that's all the news that is news.

Other than that, I'm just a boy hopelessly in love and digging every moment of his life.

Come join me!