Homerisms

There is great wisdom in many places - all we have to do is to pay attention. I ran across a listing of these wisdoms as displayed by Homer Simpson and thought it would be wonderful to share them with all of you.

I personally plan to take some of these for my own:

If you want results, press the red button. The rest are useless.

You can have many different jobs and still be lazy.

There are some things that just aren't meant to be eaten.

The intelligent man wins his battles with pointed words. I'm sorry -- I meant sticks. Pointed sticks.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "My God! He's covered in some sort of goo," I'd be a rich man.

Be generous in the bedroom -- share your sandwich.

I don't need a surgeon telling me how to operate on myself.

Sometimes I think there's no reason to get out of bed . . . then I feel wet, and I realize there is.

Let me just say, Winnie the Pooh getting his head caught in a honey pot? It's not funny. It can really happen.

Even though it is awesome and powerful, I don't take no guff from the ocean.

I never ate an animal I didn't like.

A fool and his money are soon parted. I would pay anyone a lot of money to explain that to me.

When you borrow something from your neighbor, always do it under the cover of darkness.

I may not be the richest man on earth. Or the smartest. Or the handsomest.

Never throw a butcher knife in anger.

The office is no place for off-color remarks or offensive jokes. That's why I never go there.

My favorite color is chocolate.

Always feel with your heart, although it's better with your hands.

So please feel free to live these rules as often as you feel it is prudent.........

Peace.

Mayberry - circa 1965

Ever wish things were simple again? Has the hectic side of life got you to thinking that life used to be more fun?

Well not me!!!

I'm having a wonderful life. I'm in love with an amazing woman, my children are not assholes, my dog loves me, I have a great job, and truly, all I ever wanted for Christmas was just to see everyone smile.

Yep, I'm a lucky boy and I love my life.

Hope you do too.

Death Becomes No One

I went to a funeral today. A very, very sad funeral. A funeral that makes you realize the random nature of life. A funeral that made me realize, again, that I am so very blessed in my life.

Because sometimes, all you need to be blessed IS your life.

The funeral was for a young girl of 34 years old. A girl that had just gotten married to a boy that loved her the way I love my girl. Which is to say totally and completely with the desire to change not one single thing.

She had a seizure last week. She stepped out of the shower and was drying off and had a seizure. She had no history of seizures, it just happened.

So they rushed her to the hospital and put her in ICU. By the next day she was OK. They were going to move her to a regular room - but before they did that, they took her down for an MRI to see if they could determine what exactly caused the seizure.

While she was in the MRI machine, she had another seizure. And even though she was at one of the best hospitals in this part of the country, they could not revive her. Her heart stopped for 17 minutes and when they finally got it started, it wouldn't stay started. And by a few hours later........she was dead.

No warning. No goodbyes. No nothing except disbelief.

He was devistated. Totally and completely devistated. I mean wailing at the wind devistated. And all we can do is hug him while he wails.

What do you say? How do you react? There is nothing you can do to make it better because it's as bad as it gets. There is nothing you can say to have it make any sense because it doesn't make any sense.

So all you do is be there.

And in that sense of community, there is strength and healing. It will take time, but he will be healed and the blessings he received from her love in his life will be a strength in his life until he is called home.

Yes, today I was reminded that life is fragile and that life can be taken away in the briefest of moments.

So today, I told all those that matter how much I love them.

And isn't that all we can do in this world.

God Bless Doug Morris, my favorite DJ, and God Bless all of you.

Bush Bashing

So he's sending more boys to keep the peace. Or float the boat. Or impose our way of life on a dastardly backwards population.

Truthfully, I have no idea what he's doing.

All I know is that a bad situation is betting worse.

And I wish I had an answer to all this. Coming from a military background with a snake-eating father who loved this shit, I certainly admire and respect the soldiers that are serving. But the intelligent side of me understands that the way they are having to serve with not one, but both arms tied behind their backs is not the way to go.

There is not a force on earth that can stop us when we go to war. We can, and have, defeated all comers. But we're not fighting anyone. I truly have no idea what we're doing. I think we're "keeping the peace" while we train the police and army so they can "keep peace".

And to them I say "Good Luck".

But what I would like to say to them is "Good Night", and "we'll turn the lights off as we leave".

So pray for Bush, he's in way over his head. And so are those boys over there.

Gators are Slimy and Crawl on Their Bellies.

Time keeps on slippin' slippin' slippin, into the future.........................

OK, so Steve Miller was bad but he did do "The Joker" and the line "somebody get me a cheeseburger" at the end of "Living in the USA" was very cool. But yea, he kind of sucked otherwise.

I'm kind of like my friend the Haahnster and am just uninspired at this time. Have no idea why. Have lots of thoughts but none of them seem important enough to write down.

Do I have the blah's?

Hell no.

My life is amazingly great. I'm in love with the woman of my dreams - and for the first time in my life - she loves me back!!!

And that is so cool.

That makes up for lots of shit I have swallowed in my lifetime. As a matter of fact, it makes up for everything. I would go through everything I ever went through a hundred more times if it meant I could spend more time with her.

But enough of that - I've been told that I'm sickenly in love and it just drips off of me. Which ain't so bad neither (wink-wink)

Sat down last night with a pitcher of sangria and a bowl of chili and turned on the "national championship" game.

Everyone I talked with down here had no doubt that Florida was going to win the game. But I don't think anyone would have imagined that it would have duplicated the LSU - Notre Dame score from the Sugar Bowl.

Wow.

What an ass-whoppin'!

And how funny was it that the great received pulled a T.O. and hurt himself celebrating?

I'm sure there are lots of sad folks in Ohio today. As a matter of fact, I called several of them.

It's funny, I hate Florida. We played them the first game of the year this year - and we lost - but we played well and it wasn't too, too bad. But back to the hating Florida. It really doesn't seem to matter. I think it's in our DNA down here that we always pull for the SEC teams in the sectional play. I guess it's just a Southern Pride kind of deal.

My swim coach in college was from the University of Miami and he always reminded us that Gators were slimy and crawled on their bellies (hence the name of this post). But as a reaction, we used to remind him that nothing blows like a Hurricane!!!

But back to football because nobody wants to hear about us swimmers.

I found myself laughing several times last night at the frustration of Ohio State and the jubilation of Florida. I can only imagine how exciting it was to be on the Florida team last night - especially after everyone in the world said that they didn't even belong and stood no chance.

Oh well, that's why they play the game.

Anyway - still wishing all of you all the happiness you can put in your pockets this year and I'm praying for all mankind. Especially those in Iraq.

Peace

Happy New Year

Well, here's to another year down the tubes and hope for powerball matches for the coming year.

Got back at midnight from my "Best Christmas Present Ever" trip to L.A. to see Lyle Lovett and his Large Band on New Years Eve in L.A.

Wow, what a nice trip.

We went to Venice Beach and then strolled down the Santa Monica Pier.

We ate, drank and were very, very merry!

And the concert was absolutely amazing. It was a Neil Young/Bob Dylan-ish experience. I love Lyle but had no idea that his live show would be so amazingly perfect on New Years Eve in the most upper crust of places in downtown L.A.

So I'm glad to be back - but not too glad.

There are some spaces in time and place that you just wish would go on and on.

This was one of them.

But I did want to wish all of you a very Happy New Year and pray that all of your dreams come true.

Lord knows, mine have!!!

Peace.