Awaken YOUR Sleeping Giant........

EX-Me

Well, it finally happened last night. Age caught up with me.

I was watching the Olympic Trials in swimming last night and it finally hit me that I'm old.

Old, old, old.

I could still feel the familiar emotions while watching last night but they were so far away and the performances I watched were foreign to me.

That may not mean much to most of you and you probably have no idea what I'm talking about so I'll explain a bit..............

That was me on the starting blocks. It was me concentrating on exploding off the blocks and hitting the water in the perfect position to pop up and take the first stroke that would put me a head in front of the guy to my right.

It was the smell of the chlorine in the air and the humidity in my lungs. It was the adrenaline pumping through my body.

But it was so far away I could barely perceive it.

I heard Rowdy Gaines commentating on TV and remembered swimming in the lane next to him realizing that he was a God and I was a mere mortal trying to knock him off his throne. (never happened, by the way - oh, I did swim against him several times - just never knocked him off his throne!)

I was a swimmer. At one time, I was THE swimmer. At least in these parts and certainly in my heart and soul. It was who I WAS.

I had qualified to swim in the Olympic Trials in 1980. Didn't go because I had no hope of making it, but I qualified to try. Of course, as it turned out, President Carter crushed lots of those Olympic dreams in 1980 but that's another matter............

And competing at that high level gets in your blood and you feel different. You feel amazing. There is nothing like stepping up to compete when you are at the top of your game.

Then you get on with life and you still feel it, you just can't do it anymore. Then it gets farther and farther away. It's always still there, it's just harder to get in touch with it.

Then came the point last night when I realized that it was just simply gone and I was nothing more than an interested spectator.

And for some reason, it just hit me.

I'm old.

Dying.

Fading.

But life is great like that. It's all about chapters. I left that chapter long ago and even though it was so engrained in me that it still felt real, it's been a long, long time since I was that good.

Granted, I did masters swimming and as recently as age 38 I was ranked towards the top of the heap, it was not nearly at the level it used to be. It was old man swimming.

Now there is no swimming at all and I need to change that.

I love my life. I am so in love with my wife that it makes all other things in my life pale in comparison, but I think I need that other edge to remind myself of what excellence used to mean in my life. Something that set me apart from everyone else.

So I think I'll get back to it.

After my stomach bug last week I found the determination to start eating better and have lost 7 pounds in the last two weeks. Need to get off about 50 more.

So I think I'll go forward, one step at a time and put aside my unrealistic rememberances and just try to do the best I can.

Isn't that all any of us can do?

Come join me.

Peace.

Finally.........

It's like Christmas around here today...........................

My baby's coming home!

Yea for me.

I got to see her for a few hours last weekend after she returned from Injun Country but then she was off again. It's been 13 days of lonely sleeping in a big empty bed.

But now, it's over and she's back.

So I celebrate today and the feelings of calm and satisfaction that seem to be washing over me like waves in the ocean.

Which is much better than it was earlier in the week when I was afflicted with a stomach virus that pretty much just kicked my ass.

Wasn't hungry Sunday evening when I fixed a wonderful dinner for my children. We had steaks and shrimp pasta and other yummy stuff and I just really didn't want anything to eat so I just had a drink or two and visited.

Got up Monday morning for work and didn't feel well. Threw up and other good stuff and felt a little better so I went in to work a few hours late. Stayed about an hour when I realized that I had no business there. Went back home and just layed around. Went to sleep about 4pm and slept until 6 the next morning when I got up and went immediately to the couch to lay back down.

I have no idea what it was or where I got it, but it flat out kicked me in the teeth.

Woke up Wednesday and felt fine. Well, I was a LITTLE weak! But whatever it was, it did it's thing and then went on to wherever these things go.

I, for one, was glad to see it go.

Still haven't eaten much but that's not a bad thing either.

So that's all the news that is news. All I need to do now is to take my lady in my arms and hold on tight.

Wish me luck!

Peace

Personality DNA

Check out this link:
http://youniverse.com/statement/module/PersonalityModule/New_Personality_module/retake

It's a very cool Personality DNA test that has you choosing images and at the end give you a profile based upon your choices.

Normally, I don't pay any attention to these things because like fortune tellers, there is enough common things you can say about any situation that would apply to everyone in the world - but this one was very spot on as far as I am concerned.

So I thought it was cool. Here's what it had to say about me.....................

You're drawn to the drama of a big spectacle and appreciate the unpredictability of nature. You like life rugged and rough around the edges.

When it comes to art, you're definately unconventional. You are drawn to the beauty of the human body and to the opportunity to express your identity through it.

As for music, you're a focused listener and always on the lookout for something new. You love the buzz you feel from watching a live performance because there is no better escape.

You're insatiable! Your thirst for affection never drops. You've got a very high sex drive and an appetite for love. For kicks there is nothing like a little lovin' to make you happy! There is always so much flirting to be done.............

When it comes to vacations, you love to explore and immerse yourself in another culture. Always on the go you take in as much as you can. You find it had to switch off as you like to absorb new information all of the time.

You love being a little naughty. Nothing beats getting up close and personal with the object of your affection.

You like to be healthy and try to make sure you put the right thing in your body.

As for the home, you like to think that you have very cool and contemporary taste. It's not just about function - it's important to live in style.

You're really a sociable animal at heart. Nothing beats hanging out with all your favorite people. It can be very low key as long as everyone is together.

When you think of freedom - the great outdoors comes to mind. Getting back to nature is a big draw. It's the perfect place to find peace and quiet.

So that was pretty damned close to me and it's a little spooky how that stuff works.

So take the test and see how close it comes to you. Or don't. This is America and you can do whatever you want to do!

Peace.

Musings from the Bastion of Bachelorhood

Well, I'm a-survivin' as a bachelor. Mighty quiet in the house. Get to watch what I want, eat what I want, do what I want.

Almost.

Because what I want is for her to come home from her trip.........................

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Went yesterday to pick up a motorcycle from a friend of mine. It's an old Harley that I am considering buying but I wanted to borrow it for a while to see if it would suit my needs.

It wouldn't crank.

Karma? Someone trying to tell me something?

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I really love our house.

It's weird to me because I guess I've never had a house that I could love. I'm not even sure that it's OK to love a house. It seems to violate all kinds of things that go against my grain.

But at the end of the day, I really, really love our house.

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Father's Day was wonderful. I got to take my father-in-law out to lunch and we did the old people's thing at the Crackle Barrel (as Nicole calls it). We both had the meatloaf - which I guess says something about both of us!

He's a wonderful man and I am just crazy about him and my mother-in-law.

My kids came over last night and we cooked and had a nice visit.

The only thing missing from my father's day was, well, my father.

I still miss him terribly and I guess that never goes away. It's been 13 years and it really hasn't gotten much easier on the missing him thing.

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Did I mention that I miss my wife?

I'm supposed to be a big boy and suck it up (as Sallie and AJ and Tina always tell me) but damn it, life's too short - I miss her!

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People get married for lots of reasons. I guess I'm lucky in that I got married because I love this girl more than I love breathing. I want to spend time with her and all of that is magnified when she is gone because..................seriously, did I mention that I miss my wife?

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My wife's brother and his wife and his kid came to visit this weekend. He only comes about once a year to visit and it's good when he does. I think family is very important. I guess coming from an only child of an only child, I think siblings are wonderful and should be exploited as much as possible.

Of course, when he comes down it's always project time. This time he put a new roof and lean to on the shed out in the back yard. One of those things that I should have done but didn't/wouldn't/couldn't.

Poppie is in no shape for any of that and as bad as I don't want to admit it, neither am I. Roofing is not so good for my back which I'm really still trying to be careful with.

But I felt guilty about not doing it. And have for months now.

But at least I did buy all the stuff to do it with and all involved seemed to be very happy about my role in the deal.

I guess we all have a place.

I can't do all the stuff that I used to but now I can do other things that would have been impossible earlier in life. Like buy things!!!

Just goes to show you that God is Good!

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My grandson is the cutest thing I've ever seen. I'm sure that all grandparents feel that way. But mine really is!!! He's just a cute, good-natured baby.

It's just that his daddy is in the big house and his momma works at a gas station....................

I wonder if I can buy him?

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I love my step-children as I love my own. And that makes me very happy. I'm not sure if you have a choice in things like that. I think you probably do up to a point, but it's as natural as anything for me to love them.

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I have a toothache. It hurts and my face is swollen.

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Well, this experiment in randomness is over. I hope you all enjoyed seeing into the vast expanses of my brain. This is what it's really like in my head. I routinely think of 237 things each second. I like it like that. Never boring.

May peace find you today.

That's my prayer for everyone.

And please pray that my missing wife and her mission team that is ministering to all the little Navajo children are not only a blessing to those poor people, but are truly blessed in the giving of themselves.

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Ever notice how mission and missing sound almost the same?

I miss my wife.

PEACE

Important Announcement

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.

It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by thename of: MOUNT & DO.

Laid Back and Wasted

Well, it's about to happen.................

Wife is leaving Friday and will be gone for two weeks.

See husband be sad.

I have lived a full life full of self awareness and gratitude for so many blessings. I'm one of those kind of people that have always just known how lucky they were.

My favorite part of my relationship with my wife is that I get to be with her.

Don't have to do anything - just be with her.

Kind of soak her up through osmosis.

I want to go home in the evenings because she is there.

I want to wake up in the morning because she is there.

I want to - well, um, oh yea, I want to do that too........

But she's going away.

One week on a mission trip out to the hinterlands of the Navajo Nation and upon her return, she's off for a week of meetings at a conference.

So if you look for me in the next few weeks - I'll be sitting on the front porch, just waiting.

Come join me if you like, but I'll be waiting for her to come home.

Peace

Here's Your Sign

Rover

I was sitting in church yesterday and looked directly across the aisle from me and right there in my little church sat Karl Rove.

Yep, the hatchet man himself.

I did a double take, then a triple take. Then I punched my wife and pointed.

It's what happens when you see someone famous (or infamous depending on your views......).

It was a wonderful sermon on the reason people in power always get it wrong. Jesus pissed off all the religious leaders because he didn't do what THEYthought he was supposed to do.

And as I listened I couldn't help but think about how the man right across the aisle from me used the system so sucessfully to have the ends justify the means.

And it made me sad. Sad for so many things that probably don't matter to many people because we're all so buy living our lives that we don't worry about the things that probably matter so much more.

After the sermon, I smiled, shook his hand and didn't say a word. Which is how we all live our lives for the most part.

He is married to the sister of a friend of mine and he was in town visiting. Not stalking anyone anymore or throwing down the thunder on those from the other side. I would imagine that he will slide quietly into the pundit chair and give wisdom on observations from a life in the "trenches".

Either way, it was just sad for me to look over there and realize that you can turn that kind of stuff on or off depending on where you are or how you feel.

I spent some time looking up stuff on the web and ciphered on the Winkipeida entry on him.

You should check that out. Pretty amazing stuff.

So that was our excitment on a sleepy Sunday in small town America.

Hope yours was just as interesting!

Peace.

Estrogen Finally Dissipating

Well, an entire gaggle of chicks showed up for the Sex In The City party. I counted 16 girls and one boy preacher (far right with the dress on!)

So yea, I should explain that one - our hot cat woman dressin' associate preacher's wife (the little Vietnamese Vixen in front right of photo) called to say that their daughter was sick so she was going to bring her and her husband to the party. I told her no boys were allowed unless they wore a dress. So he showed up in a little black dress - size 10 no less!!!
And here's my beautiful wife as she realizes that there is a boy at her party and he's dressed like a girl. In the background you can see her just graduated from high school daughter who is not sure how or why adults can act like this.

Seriously - she doesn't know yet that you never grow up!

Here you can notice the subtle transformation after the sixteenth cosmopolitan. Doesn't she have "the look" by now? Yes she does!

And here is me, lucky boy, as the recipent of all thing holy. Due in large part the the thirtysomethingth cosmopolitan, I'm sure - but I'll take it however I can get it.

So it was a good party and nobody got hurt or arrested - as far as I know.

One moment of pride for my wife is her hat (see all photos above) that she made to match the one that Sarah Jessica Parker wore to the London opening of the movie. She got a standing ovation when she walked into the theater that evening. More stuff that the teenager just doesn't get - yet!

Anyway, they started showing up at 6:30 and they left for the movie at 8:30 so that only gave them 2 hours to eat and drink. And boy howdy - can they drink!

They made it through two huge pitchers of cosmo's and one of sangria and who knows how much else. On the menu was some yummy stuff. I made several pounds of Tuna Tatake and we had the requisite party food such as egg rolls, thai chicken kabobs, meatballs, salami/cheese/olive skewers, spinach dip, salsa and chips, cream puffs, cheese cake and I can't remember what all else.....................

But when I started to clean up after they had all gone to the movie all I had to do was to wash the serving trays because the food was going, going, gone!!!

Yes, a good time was had by all and apparently they all loved the movie.

I, on the other hand, loved getting my house back to normal and being able to sit in the quite and watch some television while they were all gone. Blessed peaceful easy feeling..................

So, like I said, a good time was had by all and more importantly for me, my wife had a great time and I was not killed or injured in any kind of gender based hate crime.

So here's hoping that everyone else's weekend was as fun!

Peace.