Unpredictability

If life were more predictable, then we'd all be bored out of our skulls. Sure, we'd have lots fewer problems but there would be no surprises. And who doesn't like surprises?

Do you have an idea how much of your day is spent dealing with things that just pop up?

So I rejoice in the fact that my world is so unpredictable.

I, for one, know very little about what is going to happen in the next moment. I, like most others, would love to plan ahead a little bit because planning gives us all a certain sense of security, but it also has a decided ring of futility because we simply have no idea what is around the corner.

My love always apologizes to me for being so unpredictable in her moods and thoughts and actions. Little does she know that it is that one thing that makes her so interesting. That is the thing that makes each day exciting. I find that her moods and me dealing with them puts the straw in the drink, so to speak.

As long as we live, life will continue to unfold in an unpredictable manner - and as long as we love, we can look forward to lots of surprises. If we are wise, we will be confident in the crazy stuff that is thrown in our laps and just go with it. Because if we fight it, we will surely find that we are fighting with our own sanity in the balance.

So today, please celebrate your differences and just know that you really wouldn't like it if you knew what was coming next.

Peace.

The Week That Was..........

It's finally Friday. Thank you God..........

My baby was gone all week.

Quiet time? Time with the boys? Time for reflection?

Nope.

Time to miss her.

She's coming home today so I thought I would take the time to reflect back on the week that was.

The world is my palate. I can do whatever I want to do. Yet I find myself strangely inactive except for the busy work because I miss her.

I miss the sight of her. I miss the scent of her. I miss her voice. I miss her touch. I miss her presence. I miss her - hell, I miss ALL of her.

She is the thing that makes me smile and brings joy in my life. She is the one that I play off of. My tit for her tat. And that's not around this week.

So I do what I have to do and then I stare at the television as if it is going to impart some earth-shattering wisdom to me (no luck there).

This boy understands his place in the world. And the world is just upside down when she is not around.

So as the clock gets closer and closer to where it is going, I am watching it with anticipation because at around 5pm, my world is going to start all over again.

Thank you God........

Choice

I'm feeling pretty darned good today. It's a matter of choice - isn't it? Don't I get to choose how I feel or am I trapped into feelin how someone else wants me to feel?

I see so many people that are under the illusion that they are being controlled by events beyond their reach. They are not happy because someone else is doing something to generate their unhappiness.

I pity those people because they will never understand the joys that are inherent in our lives.

We are born having no equal. Our minds, our souls, our charater and our spirit are uniquely our own. It is true that as we develop these qualitites, we may sometimes find ourselves at the mercy of thoughtless individuals who want us to fit into the mold they have for our lives.

But as long as we are free to make choices, which all of us are, that power will always remain ours.

And still there are always people who try to convince us that we are pawns in a game and powerless in this world. Luckily, to accept or deny this truth is just another choice we have to make.

The world is just too full of examples for us not to believe that we are free to be who we want to be. We can change our beliefs and our purposes and our goals. But mostly, we have the freedom to react to others however we choose.

I believe that each of us is programmed through millions of variables to react a certain way in a certain circumstance. Those are our predispositions and they are very powerful. But we are more than that. We can rise above our animal instincts and choose a path of grace.

In the long run, we are solely responsible for our lives and how we live them. So today, why don't you try to be graceful and anyone that tries to ruin your day, just smile at them and know that you are in charge of you today.

Peace.

Eternal Optimist

I am, by all accounts, an eternal optimist. Heck, I'm even a member of the Optimist Club. And as I look back on the first half of my life, I guess I've always been that way.

I choose the half full instead of the half empty philosophy and I truly believe that is a choice.

Optimism should be a huge part of your life. When I wake up in the morning I truly want to see what the day will bring. And yes, some days I know it will bring me a load of shit - but within that shit there are always pearls, sometimes it just takes a while to find them.

I think about optimism when I view relationships. I don't look for the bad side of people, I know it's there because I've got one too, but I choose to expect the best from people because my experience is that if you expect the best from folks, then you're much more likely to get it than if you expect to be disappointed.

Those who fear the bad in relationships will always find it. There is no greater way to fail than to look for failure because by searching for it and focusing on it, you invite it in to stay.

Belief in love and the success it brings all of us, on the other hand, will highlight all of the good things that happen in relationships. I mean seriously, why shouldn't it always be good? Why can't our futures be one of bright, shining growth and happiness?

It's our duty to live in the hope that every decision we make and every action we perform will take us in the right direction. Shoot, even our mistakes can highlight the good in ourselves and in others because it can remind us of all that is good instead of just dwelling on the thing you shouldn't have said or done.

Love doesn't insist on perfection and neither should we. Love thrives in a positive view of self, life and the world around us. All we have to do is keep our focus on the wonderful things that are inherent in each relationship and we can free ourselves from our mistakes of the past and just trust and be encouraged by the present. That takes all the fear out of the future because you're too busy living and enjoying your life today to worry about it.

My experience shows that if you can actualize your dreams, then they can truly happen. But it's more than that, you have to not just hope for the best, you have to strive to make it happen.

My lady is always thinking that her quirks are somehow irritating to me and that they will somehow drive a wedge somewhere. If she only knew and understood that I don't even see those things. All I see is the shining embodiment of all that I believe is good in this world. She shines like the sun in my eyes and everytime there is a solar flare, that's all I consider it to be. It could no more dim the bright sun that she is in my eyes than I could cut cheese from the moon.

So today, please try to see what is good in your world and focus on that. I'll bet at the end of the day, you'll be much happier and better able to enjoy the fruits of your life.

Peace.

The Wino And I Know

I love me some wine!

We went to a wine tasting last night at the Purple Parrot and Oh My God! It was the most wonderful experience I've had in quite a long time. We got dressed up and went to a big air conditioned tent that was set up in the parking lot and got to experience about 200 wines, one tiny little sip at a time.

The cumulative effect was wonderful. There were some dogs there but for the most part, it was wonderful wine. You went from table to table to listen to the actual winemakers, for the most part, express their sentiments about their own wines.

There was a guy from Italy there and one from Chile - but the big dog was Nils, who is the wine maker at Saddleback in Napa. Wow, nice wine.

And I got to see lots of friends and my lady was absolutely shining. I sit in wonder at times at how marvelous she is. She was dressed up in spring colors and looked absolutely beautiful. And yes, she was the life of the party. She never meets a stranger and always leaves them babbling in their cups when she walks away!

Anyway, it was a marvelous evening and I was blessed to be there.

So raise a glass - as soon as you can - and my prayer for you will be that the person looking back towards you is the one you were meant to be with.

God Bless.

Love And The Loving Lovers That Love Us

How does love work? How do we learn love? Are we born with it and just need to find the person that bring it out in us or is it something we must cultivate?

All these questions and concepts about the most natural and easiest thing any of us can do. It's the easiest thing to feel and experience and maybe the hardest thing to explain in all the world.

I think a lot about love because I have so much in me. I am so in love that it would make you want to stick your finger down your throat and throw up.

I think love is all about sharing. I think the key to love is that you have to find that person that makes you want to tell them, not only how you feel, but why you feel that way. Find the person that you want to experience all manner of life with. The person you can't wait to see, no matter how many times you have seen them today.

We have to ask ourselves what makes us happy and then we have to find a way to transfer those things to the person we love. It's like a little recipe for happiness.

So as I go about my life, I have learned that the thing that makes me the most happy is to make her happy. I'm not so bull-headed (some may argue) to believe that I am always right and that I have achieved some kind of enlightenment, but I do know that I know myself.

I would set aside any part of myself for her. I could never be happy meeting my needs if hers were not first met. So with that clear understanding I can see for miles. If she's happy, then I'm happy. It really is that simple for me.

I guess the most unsettling thing any of us ever face is what happens if you wake up and it's not there anymore. I mean over half of all marriages end in divorce. Those people started out happy didn't they? Where did it go?

But there is different love out there. I promise you that I'm living proof of that. My experience was that you had a relationship and "hoped" that it evolved into some kind of loving, trusting thing. But the older I got, the more I realized that love is either there or it's not. You can't substitite anything in the love slot. It either is or isn't.

And boy oh boy, is mine firmly planted in the "is" category.

So I love with a certainty that is almost unbelievable. But I believe it because I live it. And for each of you, I pray that you find the same thing in your life because it is truly the one true thing that makes life worth living.

So go out there and love with all your heart today. If you don't, it's your own damn fault.

God Bless.

Good Night and Good Luck

I watched the above mentioned movie last night. If you haven't seen it and you are remotely interested in sociology, I highly recommend it.

The premise is the tension between the news media and Senator McCarthy's communist witch hunt and the fear that was so pervasive at that time in our history. I thought the presentation was wonderful. It completely captured all the nuances and the heroism it took to stand up for what is right in America.

Sometimes, especially these days when the media seems so, I don't even know the word for it, so hostile towards their points of view, that it's good to go back and see when the media actually stood for truth and justice.

I listen to Rush Limbaugh at times just to remember why I think the "conservative agenda" is so skewed. I look toward the "mainstream" media and look for their liberal leanings as the conservatives scream all the time but I don't ever see it. All I see is sensationalism, which does not serve anyone. It seems the serious journalism, such as the kind that brought down the Nixon administration, is completely gone.

People in journalism should never make news, they should just report it and comment on it. From those opinions we get our debates.

I miss that.

I miss enlightenment. I don't care if I agree or disagree, I just want to know what is going on and what you think about it. I don't care about Tom Cruise or Angelina Jolie.

So when they tell me that Katie Couric is moving to the CBS Evening News, well, let's just say that I don't care. Walter Cronkite must be snorting through his walrus mustache.

So I'm stuck with the news on the internet so I can draw my own conclusions.

Stay informed, care what happens but mostly hold true to the things that you believe and don't ever be afraid to voice your opinion.

Good Night, and Good Luck.

Breathe, Just Breathe

I think the world has slowed down just a bit. Maybe it's not spinning as fast. Or maybe I just slowed down. Either way, I feel it slipping back into a little normalcy.

Thank you God.

Sometimes, things just seem to pile up and try to swallow me. I know that's not true - it just seems like it. And you know that perception truly is your reality.

I have so much to be thankful for that many times I don't even want to complain because it just seems so trivial when compared to the grace I receive each and every day.

I have been to Washington, DC, to the beach, to Sams for a marathon shopping trip for my Honduras mission trip. I have been to New Orleans in a big truck to deliver all the stuff to go to Honduras. I have been at work pulling my meager hair out. I have been worried about my love who hasn't been feeling well.

And with all of those things going on, I felt as if I were running in place. So much to do, so little time to do it, so little control over events surrounding them.

But with all of that going on, Easter appears.

Easter is my favorite time of year because I am reminded of how no matter how bad things are, we are promised more. All we are required to do is have faith and if we truly have that faith, then we realize that no matter what is going on, we know that in the end, it will always work out. It may not work out the way we envisioned it, but it will work out.

So that's where I am today. Faced with a mound of paperwork that could choke a horse, I am smiling and knowing that if I do them one at a time, they will eventually be handled.

So thank you to everyone that reminds me of hope.

God Bless

Go ahead, knock it off, I dare ya.......

OK, so I haven't died.

I haven't been abducted by aliens.

I haven't done anything except too much of everything.

I hit a really busy spell and haven't had the luxury of musing. No time to wax poetic.

But I think I'm through for a while. At least now all I have to worry about is the regular bullshit that life brings us.

So where to start?

What about the amazing trip to Gulf Shores? Fun in the sun? Yep - but I'm not telling any tales here. What about my wonderful Easter weekend? Nope, not telling about that either!

As a matter of fact, I'm not telling any tales anywhere just yet.

I just wanted to post to get you people off my ass.

So I'll be back. You just wait and see.

Alfred E. Newman

What, me worry?

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.

I was reminded of that yesterday when it was all so dark and stormy (at least on the inside). But as usual, I went home and became peaceful.

Redemption is so cool.

So today I woke up with a resolution to joyfully go through all the doo-doo on my desk and smile as I ruin people's day by giving them more to do than they can possibly do.

Yep, I feel better.

Those dark moods serve several purposes, but the most important is that it makes me realize that we have so many opportunities for loving and being loved and we lose so many of those because we aren't in the mood for it.

I got home last night and my lovely lady gave me a little bag with a ribbon tied up all fancy on top. I opened the bag and got a lovely little framed thingy that says "Life is not a matter of milestones...but of MOMENTS".

Wow.

And also included was a very sweet and special note.

In one fell swoop, I was transported from woe is me to wow is me.

It's so hard to not remember sometimes, when your world is swirling so fast, that all we have to do is breathe and look around us to find the most remarkable things in our lives.

So thank you for reminding me, love of my life, that the most important thing in my life is to love and be loved. The rest is just details.

People are dying alone and crying alone. Children are being ignored and abused. In a world where there is such an obvious need for each of us to demonstrate and live our love, we owe it to ourselves and those in our lives to do that first.

We have enormous power to help and even heal others and we should take that covenent and make sure that it is the first thing we think of in every situation.

The end of the day is the best time to reflect on what we have done that day to make the world at better place. And up until the point where I received my little bag, I admit that I hadn't done much of that.

So today I am resolved to be appreciative for the marvelous fact that I have a great job, a wonderful lady that loves me and good children who may not do what I expect them to do every time, but that exceed my expectations most of the time. I have employees that care, sometimes more than I do about what gets done at work.

Yep, today I am blessed and am determined to realize that and let it carry me as I go about all the mess I have to face today.

So at the end of today, I want you to sit down and reflect on what you have done to change your world for the better - and if you can't come up with something, instead of fretting about that, just try to do better tomorrow.

That way, we'll all have something to look forward to.

Peace. And remember, when it comes to giving love, the opportunites are unlimited and we all are gifted.

God Bless.

AB"ZEN"LUTE AB"ZEN"LUTION

A child came towards me with a lighted torch. "Where did you get the fire", I asked him. At that point he blew it out and replied, "tell me where it has gone and I'll tell you from whence it came".

Yea, I know, Zen is deep. Today is a deep day.

"What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?"

I am assailed by thoughts of what and where and when.

I am overwhelmed at work. My only peace remains at home and I find myself yearning for home today. The gentle place where my soul feels at rest. The place where dreams come true. The place where work does not intrude.

So I think I will take myself there now and hope for a better tomorrow.

I'll pray for that for all of you too.

So Where YOU been?

Yea, sorry about the lack of posts. Life always gets in the way!!!

I've been so very busy that my wicked mind hasn't been able to contemplate the luxury of posting for a week or so.

So much to do, so little time to do it!

Just got back last night from our nation's capitol. Way cool. Got to visit all the museums and walk about 273 miles around all the monuments. Ride the subway. Eat wonderful food. But most importantly, I got to spend lots of uninterupted time with the woman that I love.

There is truly no substitute for that.

Each time I go somewhere with her I am reminded of how amazing life can truly be.

So before I get too far in here, let me just say THANK YOU to her - for everything.

There is so much going on and I have so little focus today that this isn't going to be much of a post but there are a few things that I wanted to get out of me.

#1 - Yea for my church. Little Eddie is coming home. At least that's the way I think of it. Eddie is the one that has the ability to steer us. He has the desire to do what is amazing. Whether or not he can do any of that will be left to history to report - but in the meantime, I am saying YEA.

#2 - My job is driving me crazy. I don't have enough of me to go around. I have delegated to the point where there is nobody left to delegate anything to. I've got to regroup. And that is always painful. Pray for me.

#3 - My son broke his knee in a football game. Ouch.

So for now, I'll just try to push all the paper on my desk into piles and then sort through all of it, and then try to have a cohesive thought or two.

Until then, I am crazy.

God Bless.